You know what was a good album?....

Ride the Blade

So good and so underrated..........






(Also, best record cover EVAR!....)

Bangers all night long......

If you know me, and you've ever seen me on the weekend, then you will have a complete understanding of how sober people can have hangovers. This is how I found myself this after noon at brunch. Somewhere between the two trucks that kept crashing over and over again into my pulverized body, and constantly requesting more coffee and water. HOW I got here can be summed up in the mother of all DC dj nights:

Gavin Holland
Will Eastman
Matt Nordstrom
Dave Nada
Tittsworth
and mutha fukkin DJ Assault

It was a full evening of total insanity, and I could not help be swept along for the entire ride.

Knowing alot of the people involved, I had a backstage pass, but only used this momentarily after I first arrived. Soon I bounced downstairs and hit the floor. There I would remain for almost the entire night. Though I did take a few minutes to say hi to my friend, superphotographer Josh Sisk. I hadn't seen him in forever. He had agreed to swing by from Bmore to take photos since it was Tittsworth's record release show. Josh is another guy I initially knew from the punk rock scene. It's funny how many of those people are now in the party scene, and how in an odd way I straddle both.

After we did some respect knuckles, I wandered out to the expansive dancefloor at 9:30 and waited for my last remaining dance partner, Kim, to arrive. It took her quite a while to get there, but that didn't stop me from willin' out by myself for a while. All the dj's were people I loved to see spin, so there really wasn't a bad part of the night. Though I will say, after hitting it hard for several hours, I was glad when the "live" portion of the evening arrived, so I could meander a bit.

Kim and I went to one of the bars for some water, and were spotted by Cale who urged us to get a pick taken in the prom style Tittsworth record-promo set up they had. The catch was, beyond the back drop, there were party lights, a smoke machine, and....oh yeah, a whole fleet of girls (one of whom was not; I give them great credit for that) in bikinis. They plopped me down front, straddling a chair, with Kim, leg up on mine, on my left, and both of us coated in bikini girls. I REALLY hope this pic gets posted.

I, of course, could not forget to mention hopping briefly downstairs to say a quick hello to the hottest bartender in the history of 9:30, Corrine. She was sadly swamped and sick all at once. Even though it was just a hi and bye considering the circumstances, it was, as always, totally worth the whole four seconds.....

Finally, after the MC's were done, and there was a warm up reprise from Dave and Jessie, DJ Assault took the decks, and in true style, hit the ground running with "Ass and Titties." From there it was a crushing, janky, blitz, of ghettoteck versions of every oversexed, down-and-dirty, and straight up vulgar banger that you have ever heard. What can I say, but fuck, it ruled. I screamed aloud to every dirty deed exploding from the speakers. Christ did I need that. It was the best night I'd been to in a while (okay, or since the Bliss eight year anniversary party last weekend....).

So, here I sit, a total pile of wreck, and I totally earned it........

Mississippi moment...

So,

I just felt like I was back home for a minute. One of the few perks of my current living situation is that there are some amazingly bamafied stores on the corner (which we are fortunately right next to). It has been a dreary rainy day here (the kind I would love if I still worked indoors...), so at this point I was only outfitted with my Colin of Arabia, not-quite-package-fitting, gym shorts, my new Weedeater shirt that proudly proclaims "Burn 1" on the back, and slippers. With a crumbled ten in one hand, and my keys in the other, I proudly trotted out and into the corner store.

American by luck, southern by the grace of god indeed............

Yes, I know, much more has surely happened than this since I last posted, and in fact, more has. To some it all up in a few cute "tiwtter moments," I went to my other grandmother's funeral; the one I thought would be so bad I'd actually had nightmares about it, but then it wasn't. I frantically, and flimsily moved into a punk rock house where I am nearly a decade older than the other inhabitants, and surely much much older than the mice. The good news is that I can use the show space in the basement to record a one off True Kvlt black metal record with John and others. My phone broke in a hail storm, and now I have a new one. I got a dj night, it went very well, I got another dj night, and screwed up the dates with my filming conflicts. Now that night is going to use someone who is not me. But hey, the good news is that I am in no way shape or form in a position to move to SF in Oct. like I wanted to, so I can always hop on the next night. It's great because I'd much rather be here to see the Halloween cover night than in SF seeing Corrupted play.........So, yes, I started filming again, and I really do love it like nothing else right now. I also caught a glimpse of some of my footage, and wanted to vomit to death. Which all also brings me to the fact that there is a chance that I will not only be in an episode of a a horror webshow, but one that is being produced by the one and only Herschel Gordon Lewis. I get so excited every time I think about it that I might have to start wearing depends. I got so depressed I feared for my wellbeing. The good news is that I am on medication, and it's helping. The bad news is I might need to be on more......I shot guns, and will shoot guns again. And finally, Weedeater amazing, Judas Priest, Motorhead, and Heaven and Hell live, amazing, Teenage Film Stars, pretty good, Bloody Panda, great band, Orphan, good as well, spending too much on Moss and Portal records but doing extra work to cover the cost, fuck yeah...............

So, that, as it were, is that...............................

PS, I had a very strange and awesome dream last night. To be honest, just a part of a dream; I don't really remember the rest. This may make no sense, but I was, maybe laying on something, I'm not sure, and I was flying at a high speed all through this gray/brown lint/felt colored/textured other world. I know it sounds simple, and uninteresting, but for me it was amazing. I say that because, not only was it much more vivid than my normal dreams, but I could honest to god feel it. I felt the high speed, and the air, and the texture of the world around me. Looking back, it was eerily euphoric. I don't think that has ever happened to me before. I certainly wish my life at the present was a quarter as good as that dream........

Well....

Scratch all that........

The List of Good

Alright,

Things being what they still are, I've decided to be as proactive as I can be in the opposite direction. So, in attempt to make that a bit of reality, I give you the list of good. All items random, and off the top of my head, which also means that the list is by no means complete.


1.The Cars
2.Joy Division
3.The Con
4.New Order
5.Peek-a-boo
6.Just Like Heaven
7.How Soon is Now?
8.Time Zone
9.Laid
10.Transilvanian Hunger
11.Nattens Madrigal
12.Der Halbtoten Dichters Schein-Existenz
13.Deathspell Omega
14.Bone Awl
15.War Goat Radio
16.Iron Maiden
17.Judas Priest
18.Motorhead
19.Parker and Lily
20.The Low Lows
21.Lemuria
22.De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
23.Coven
24.Merciful Fate
25.Baltimore House
26.Dave Nada
27.Kid Sister
28.Yelle
29.Fixies
30."The Punx"
31.Circle pits
32.Wall of death
33.Municipal Waste
34.At the Gates
35.Zapatista Coffee
36.French Presses
37. Moka pots
38.Phantom of the Paradise
39.Kill City Jeans
40.David Lynch
41. Arrested Development
42.Entourage
43.Metalocalypse
44.Home Movies
45.Cowboy Bebop
46.Halloween
47.Thunder storms
48.Spazz
49.Man is the Bastard
50.Rhino Charge
51.Magrudergrind
52.Toxic Narcotic
53.His Hero is Gone
54.Cock E.S.P.
55.Ovo
56.Christ Send Light
57.Martin Denny
58.Exotic Moog
59.Les Baxter
60.Yma Sumac
61.Violet Blue
62.Gawker
63.Jezebel
64.Coat to Coast AM
65.Vegan Freak Radio
66.Marketplace
67.Fair Game
68.BBC
69.Writing Excuses
70.Cats
71.Rats
72.Clipse
73.M.O.P.
74.Trillville
75.Kryptonite
76.The Black Cat
77.Kicks!
78.Straight Edge Kegger
79.Kylesa
80.Weakling
81.I Ran
82.Dance nights
83.Brunch!
84.Vegan Rubens
85.Avocados
86.Angel hair pasta
87.Saturdays at 4 AM
88.Sleeping in
89.Savage Love
90.Roland Barthes
91.Suicide s/t
92.Vinyl
93.Magnificent Glorification of Lucifer
94.Dropdead
95.House shows
96.Hellboy
97.Rum and Whiskey
98.Wikipedia
99.Autumn
100.Macbeth Shoes

I suppose I should stop at that. If you have more to add, please do. In the meantime.........

Drop out of life with bong in hand.....

So, I finally paid off my medical bills when they got turned over to a collection agency. I have to move in DC by the end of this month. My roommate left, and took my dear Zachary with her. I'm supposed to move to SF in Oct. I have no money. I still have to take care of my taxes somehow...and on .....and on.....and on......There is however one thing that can help me keep my sanity. *Caution: only play with the volume at eleven. Only play with the bass all the way up. Only play with the intent of listening to the entire song in one sitting.* Now.....drop out of life with bong in hand; follow pot smoke toward the rift filled land.............



!@#$%! dammit! It's only a preview! CLICK THE ARTIST AND SONG TITLE LINK TO GO TO THE SITE WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THE WHOLE THING!! SAME RULES APPLY!!!!!!!!!!

(yes, I'm still sXe....)

Some days.....not as bad....

So,

Tonight, I did a very cathartic thing. I went to a crust/metal house show. Sadly, due to the "holiday" and the weather, it was not nearly as well attended as it should have been. It was the send off show for John's band Aghast, before they go on a west coast tour, and as usual, they had it set up right. I, sadly, don't remember the name of the first band, but they were heavy, retro hxc. They were young, and did a good job, but there was almost no one there at that time. Next Aghast played, and their new lineup (they lost their singer, and just decided to go with it) is really, really tight. Shravan does a great job taking on the responsibilities of vocals and guitar, and with one less band member to deal with, they just killed it. I always think they put on a great show, but this was the best one yet. They are going to destroy this tour. Anywho, when I came down for the next band, I thought maybe I was going to get a portal tribute show, as three guys donned with hoods prepared to let fly. As it turns out, this was Midnight, a band I literally knew nothing about (though Nuclear War Now put out their album, so it must be good). As it turned out this was some killer souther rock infused thrash hate metal, and damn was it good. Before I knew it, my hat was off and my hair was bangin'. Lucifer, did I need to let loose some.....Midnight played for a while, but it was consistently an amazing set. Finally, Atakke, who I must admit, I have heard a lot about, but never actually listened to or seen, took the stage (or basement floor I suppose). I knew it was going to be good when one of the guys had a Possessed shirt on. And fuck christ it was. It was a relentless onslaught of D-beat-ish, blazing, pissed as hell metal. They were very tight, and had great chops all around (and apparently their real drummer had to deal with a family emergency so one of their guitar players took up that duty for this show). At this point I was loosing so much hate and frustration that when they hit the cover of Police Bastard I accidentally found myself punching holes in their low setting ceiling (I stopped doing that as soon as I realized, by the way....). I don't know about the guys from Deathammer (who just showed up), but I will be sporting a bang over tomorrow). I must have looked like someone being electrocuted while having a seizure. And, of course, afterward I hung out with drunk punx so wasted you couldn't pay for that kind of funny....It was a great effing night all-in-all, and I absolutely needed it (as I write this in fact, I am listening to the Portal Outra album, and the Drowned LP re-release........hail fucking metal)


Midnight:

(Literally the only photo I could find online....)

Fucking Assholes Just don't get it.

Okay,

So, I haven't blogged in a long time, and I don't really know why I am right now. I will give a brief overview, but first, let me just blow off some steam:

I am vegan. That means that I do not eat, wear, or use anything that comes from an animal. And while all people are fallible, I try my utmost to adhere to this 100%. No, I don't want to be invited to your BBQ. No, I don't want to try your fucking meat and cheese dish. Yes, the fucking meat you are eating is what is depleting the rain forest. No, I don't want to answer your asinine questions. No, I don't think your jokes are fucking funny. No, I don't want to have a debate with you about it. And no, I don't really give a flying fuck what you think about it, or any dumb ass logic as to why you aren't vegan. Oh, and one more thing, fuck off and die jack ass welfareists.

Okay, now I feel a little better. And yes, I have needed to get that out for quite some time now. If you are vegan, and feel like responding, great. If you are not vegan and feel like responding, DON'T FUCKIN' THINK ABOUT IT! There are plenty of proper venues for that type of very necessary dialog, my personal blog not being one of them.




So,

If you could not tell, I am not doing so hot. Yes, I have serious depression problems. And while no, I don't at all mind be open about that, I am not trying to wear it on my sleeve for attention or as an excuse. I'm trying to go on medication, but right now I have not been able to work that out. It's hard since five years ago I didn't really believe in that type of thing, not to mention the above sentence pitted against the above rant. But I'm at the end of my rope, and fear for my ability to function.

As usual, my life has been more like a crowbar to the face than a hug. After my trip, I have no money, still. More so, sometimes I have less than no money. This was not due to me negligently taking a trip I could not afford, but more the typical events of random phone breakage, bike breakage, medical emergencies, and other bad streaks that typically pop up in my life when I least need them to. So, now, even with the insurance I can't afford, I am STILL getting medical bills I can't pay, for what the insurance didn't cover. While also paying for the insurance itself, which I have no money for (which incidentally, for the time being, neither covers dental work I desperately need to get done, nor specialists for my "pre-existing" Crohn's, which I very much need to get checked out, and which is why I have the damned insurance in the first place). I have an ever increasing phone bill I don't know how to pay. And in the meantime I just keep writing rent and utilities checks for money that has long since floated away into the ether.

This is bad enough, however, I still plan to move to San Francisco in October. I just have no idea how on earth I am going to do that financially. And even worse, I fear that if I can't get my depression in check, (which, yes, I also don't know how I am going to afford. (AMERICA! WHAT A COUNTRY!)), I will simply not have my faculties together to take such a drastic step. However, I feel like if I don't move now, I will crumble under the thought of such a daunting task, and stay in DC where my life will continue to devolve.

I will say, that I am working on a movie right now, and this is the only thing I have keeping my sanity holding by it's thin strand. Regardless of my feelings about film acting, it has been a thousand fold more rewarding that impalement of the theatre projects I've lost permanent time from my life to. Even when it gets stressful, we all are working together towards the common good of the project. There are definitely people I should never have a personal conversation with working on this with me, but it doesn't matter. Just getting along under the spirit of the film is enough. And the craziest part is that's it's film, and so I have no idea how on earth it's going to turn out. Part of me doesn't even care, but most of me just trusts the level of quality exemplified by everyone.

On the flipside, when I am not working on the film, I am most certainly not doing well. Everything in my life feels overwhelming, and, very much including myself, unsatisfying. Under this stress I simply lock up. I am virtually becoming a shut in, spending at least sixty to seventy percent of my time alone, in my apartment, mostly doing nothing. I of course hate this, but am not really in the right mind to overcome it. The lack of social interaction becomes painfully apparent when I do interact with other people. I find myself overly obnoxious, annoying, and often downright surly. And yet I cannot step in to slow down this horrible momentum.

I have no idea what I am going to do about any of the above, but, to quote The Stranglers, "Something Better Change.".........................

Push Down and Turn

XVX,
Denman