Day in day out

You know what was a good album?....

2008-09-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

Ride the Blade

So good and so underrated..........

Hydroencephaloid - Teen Cthulhu (Black Metal, Hardcore punk)

(Also, best record cover EVAR!....)

Bangers all night long......

2008-08-30T14:04:00.000-07:00

If you know me, and you've ever seen me on the weekend, then you will have a complete understanding of how sober people can have hangovers. This is how I found myself this after noon at brunch. Somewhere between the two trucks that kept crashing over and over again into my pulverized body, and constantly requesting more coffee and water. HOW I got here can be summed up in the mother of all DC dj nights:

Gavin Holland
Will Eastman
Matt Nordstrom
Dave Nada
Tittsworth
and mutha fukkin DJ Assault

It was a full evening of total insanity, and I could not help be swept along for the entire ride.

Knowing alot of the people involved, I had a backstage pass, but only used this momentarily after I first arrived. Soon I bounced downstairs and hit the floor. There I would remain for almost the entire night. Though I did take a few minutes to say hi to my friend, superphotographer Josh Sisk. I hadn't seen him in forever. He had agreed to swing by from Bmore to take photos since it was Tittsworth's record release show. Josh is another guy I initially knew from the punk rock scene. It's funny how many of those people are now in the party scene, and how in an odd way I straddle both.

After we did some respect knuckles, I wandered out to the expansive dancefloor at 9:30 and waited for my last remaining dance partner, Kim, to arrive. It took her quite a while to get there, but that didn't stop me from willin' out by myself for a while. All the dj's were people I loved to see spin, so there really wasn't a bad part of the night. Though I will say, after hitting it hard for several hours, I was glad when the "live" portion of the evening arrived, so I could meander a bit.

Kim and I went to one of the bars for some water, and were spotted by Cale who urged us to get a pick taken in the prom style Tittsworth record-promo set up they had. The catch was, beyond the back drop, there were party lights, a smoke machine, and....oh yeah, a whole fleet of girls (one of whom was not; I give them great credit for that) in bikinis. They plopped me down front, straddling a chair, with Kim, leg up on mine, on my left, and both of us coated in bikini girls. I REALLY hope this pic gets posted.

I, of course, could not forget to mention hopping briefly downstairs to say a quick hello to the hottest bartender in the history of 9:30, Corrine. She was sadly swamped and sick all at once. Even though it was just a hi and bye considering the circumstances, it was, as always, totally worth the whole four seconds.....

Finally, after the MC's were done, and there was a warm up reprise from Dave and Jessie, DJ Assault took the decks, and in true style, hit the ground running with "Ass and Titties." From there it was a crushing, janky, blitz, of ghettoteck versions of every oversexed, down-and-dirty, and straight up vulgar banger that you have ever heard. What can I say, but fuck, it ruled. I screamed aloud to every dirty deed exploding from the speakers. Christ did I need that. It was the best night I'd been to in a while (okay, or since the Bliss eight year anniversary party last weekend....).

So, here I sit, a total pile of wreck, and I totally earned it........

Mississippi moment...

2008-08-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

So,

I just felt like I was back home for a minute. One of the few perks of my current living situation is that there are some amazingly bamafied stores on the corner (which we are fortunately right next to). It has been a dreary rainy day here (the kind I would love if I still worked indoors...), so at this point I was only outfitted with my Colin of Arabia, not-quite-package-fitting, gym shorts, my new Weedeater shirt that proudly proclaims "Burn 1" on the back, and slippers. With a crumbled ten in one hand, and my keys in the other, I proudly trotted out and into the corner store.

American by luck, southern by the grace of god indeed............

Yes, I know, much more has surely happened than this since I last posted, and in fact, more has. To some it all up in a few cute "tiwtter moments," I went to my other grandmother's funeral; the one I thought would be so bad I'd actually had nightmares about it, but then it wasn't. I frantically, and flimsily moved into a punk rock house where I am nearly a decade older than the other inhabitants, and surely much much older than the mice. The good news is that I can use the show space in the basement to record a one off True Kvlt black metal record with John and others. My phone broke in a hail storm, and now I have a new one. I got a dj night, it went very well, I got another dj night, and screwed up the dates with my filming conflicts. Now that night is going to use someone who is not me. But hey, the good news is that I am in no way shape or form in a position to move to SF in Oct. like I wanted to, so I can always hop on the next night. It's great because I'd much rather be here to see the Halloween cover night than in SF seeing Corrupted play.........So, yes, I started filming again, and I really do love it like nothing else right now. I also caught a glimpse of some of my footage, and wanted to vomit to death. Which all also brings me to the fact that there is a chance that I will not only be in an episode of a a horror webshow, but one that is being produced by the one and only Herschel Gordon Lewis. I get so excited every time I think about it that I might have to start wearing depends. I got so depressed I feared for my wellbeing. The good news is that I am on medication, and it's helping. The bad news is I might need to be on more......I shot guns, and will shoot guns again. And finally, Weedeater amazing, Judas Priest, Motorhead, and Heaven and Hell live, amazing, Teenage Film Stars, pretty good, Bloody Panda, great band, Orphan, good as well, spending too much on Moss and Portal records but doing extra work to cover the cost, fuck yeah...............

So, that, as it were, is that...............................

PS, I had a very strange and awesome dream last night. To be honest, just a part of a dream; I don't really remember the rest. This may make no sense, but I was, maybe laying on something, I'm not sure, and I was flying at a high speed all through this gray/brown lint/felt colored/textured other world. I know it sounds simple, and uninteresting, but for me it was amazing. I say that because, not only was it much more vivid than my normal dreams, but I could honest to god feel it. I felt the high speed, and the air, and the texture of the world around me. Looking back, it was eerily euphoric. I don't think that has ever happened to me before. I certainly wish my life at the present was a quarter as good as that dream........

Well....

2008-07-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

Scratch all that........

The List of Good

2008-07-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

Alright,

Things being what they still are, I've decided to be as proactive as I can be in the opposite direction. So, in attempt to make that a bit of reality, I give you the list of good. All items random, and off the top of my head, which also means that the list is by no means complete.

1.The Cars
2.Joy Division
3.The Con
4.New Order
5.Peek-a-boo
6.Just Like Heaven
7.How Soon is Now?
8.Time Zone
9.Laid
10.Transilvanian Hunger
11.Nattens Madrigal
12.Der Halbtoten Dichters Schein-Existenz
13.Deathspell Omega
14.Bone Awl
15.War Goat Radio
16.Iron Maiden
17.Judas Priest
18.Motorhead
19.Parker and Lily
20.The Low Lows
21.Lemuria
22.De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
23.Coven
24.Merciful Fate
25.Baltimore House
26.Dave Nada
27.Kid Sister
28.Yelle
29.Fixies
30."The Punx"
31.Circle pits
32.Wall of death
33.Municipal Waste
34.At the Gates
35.Zapatista Coffee
36.French Presses
37. Moka pots
38.Phantom of the Paradise
39.Kill City Jeans
40.David Lynch
41. Arrested Development
42.Entourage
43.Metalocalypse
44.Home Movies
45.Cowboy Bebop
46.Halloween
47.Thunder storms
48.Spazz
49.Man is the Bastard
50.Rhino Charge
51.Magrudergrind
52.Toxic Narcotic
53.His Hero is Gone
54.Cock E.S.P.
55.Ovo
56.Christ Send Light
57.Martin Denny
58.Exotic Moog
59.Les Baxter
60.Yma Sumac
61.Violet Blue
62.Gawker
63.Jezebel
64.Coat to Coast AM
65.Vegan Freak Radio
66.Marketplace
67.Fair Game
68.BBC
69.Writing Excuses
70.Cats
71.Rats
72.Clipse
73.M.O.P.
74.Trillville
75.Kryptonite
76.The Black Cat
77.Kicks!
78.Straight Edge Kegger
79.Kylesa
80.Weakling
81.I Ran
82.Dance nights
83.Brunch!
84.Vegan Rubens
85.Avocados
86.Angel hair pasta
87.Saturdays at 4 AM
88.Sleeping in
89.Savage Love
90.Roland Barthes
91.Suicide s/t
92.Vinyl
93.Magnificent Glorification of Lucifer
94.Dropdead
95.House shows
96.Hellboy
97.Rum and Whiskey
98.Wikipedia
99.Autumn
100.Macbeth Shoes

I suppose I should stop at that. If you have more to add, please do. In the meantime.........

Drop out of life with bong in hand.....

2008-07-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

So, I finally paid off my medical bills when they got turned over to a collection agency. I have to move in DC by the end of this month. My roommate left, and took my dear Zachary with her. I'm supposed to move to SF in Oct. I have no money. I still have to take care of my taxes somehow...and on .....and on.....and on......There is however one thing that can help me keep my sanity. *Caution: only play with the volume at eleven. Only play with the bass all the way up. Only play with the intent of listening to the entire song in one sitting.* Now.....drop out of life with bong in hand; follow pot smoke toward the rift filled land.............

Dopesmoker - Sleep

!@#$%! dammit! It's only a preview! CLICK THE ARTIST AND SONG TITLE LINK TO GO TO THE SITE WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THE WHOLE THING!! SAME RULES APPLY!!!!!!!!!!

(yes, I'm still sXe....)

Some days.....not as bad....

2008-07-05T22:20:00.001-07:00

So,

Tonight, I did a very cathartic thing. I went to a crust/metal house show. Sadly, due to the "holiday" and the weather, it was not nearly as well attended as it should have been. It was the send off show for John's band Aghast, before they go on a west coast tour, and as usual, they had it set up right. I, sadly, don't remember the name of the first band, but they were heavy, retro hxc. They were young, and did a good job, but there was almost no one there at that time. Next Aghast played, and their new lineup (they lost their singer, and just decided to go with it) is really, really tight. Shravan does a great job taking on the responsibilities of vocals and guitar, and with one less band member to deal with, they just killed it. I always think they put on a great show, but this was the best one yet. They are going to destroy this tour. Anywho, when I came down for the next band, I thought maybe I was going to get a portal tribute show, as three guys donned with hoods prepared to let fly. As it turns out, this was Midnight, a band I literally knew nothing about (though Nuclear War Now put out their album, so it must be good). As it turned out this was some killer souther rock infused thrash hate metal, and damn was it good. Before I knew it, my hat was off and my hair was bangin'. Lucifer, did I need to let loose some.....Midnight played for a while, but it was consistently an amazing set. Finally, Atakke, who I must admit, I have heard a lot about, but never actually listened to or seen, took the stage (or basement floor I suppose). I knew it was going to be good when one of the guys had a Possessed shirt on. And fuck christ it was. It was a relentless onslaught of D-beat-ish, blazing, pissed as hell metal. They were very tight, and had great chops all around (and apparently their real drummer had to deal with a family emergency so one of their guitar players took up that duty for this show). At this point I was loosing so much hate and frustration that when they hit the cover of Police Bastard I accidentally found myself punching holes in their low setting ceiling (I stopped doing that as soon as I realized, by the way....). I don't know about the guys from Deathammer (who just showed up), but I will be sporting a bang over tomorrow). I must have looked like someone being electrocuted while having a seizure. And, of course, afterward I hung out with drunk punx so wasted you couldn't pay for that kind of funny....It was a great effing night all-in-all, and I absolutely needed it (as I write this in fact, I am listening to the Portal Outra album, and the Drowned LP re-release........hail fucking metal)

Midnight:

(Literally the only photo I could find online....)

Fucking Assholes Just don't get it.

2008-06-23T19:17:00.000-07:00

Okay,

So, I haven't blogged in a long time, and I don't really know why I am right now. I will give a brief overview, but first, let me just blow off some steam:

I am vegan. That means that I do not eat, wear, or use anything that comes from an animal. And while all people are fallible, I try my utmost to adhere to this 100%. No, I don't want to be invited to your BBQ. No, I don't want to try your fucking meat and cheese dish. Yes, the fucking meat you are eating is what is depleting the rain forest. No, I don't want to answer your asinine questions. No, I don't think your jokes are fucking funny. No, I don't want to have a debate with you about it. And no, I don't really give a flying fuck what you think about it, or any dumb ass logic as to why you aren't vegan. Oh, and one more thing, fuck off and die jack ass welfareists.

Okay, now I feel a little better. And yes, I have needed to get that out for quite some time now. If you are vegan, and feel like responding, great. If you are not vegan and feel like responding, DON'T FUCKIN' THINK ABOUT IT! There are plenty of proper venues for that type of very necessary dialog, my personal blog not being one of them.

So,

If you could not tell, I am not doing so hot. Yes, I have serious depression problems. And while no, I don't at all mind be open about that, I am not trying to wear it on my sleeve for attention or as an excuse. I'm trying to go on medication, but right now I have not been able to work that out. It's hard since five years ago I didn't really believe in that type of thing, not to mention the above sentence pitted against the above rant. But I'm at the end of my rope, and fear for my ability to function.

As usual, my life has been more like a crowbar to the face than a hug. After my trip, I have no money, still. More so, sometimes I have less than no money. This was not due to me negligently taking a trip I could not afford, but more the typical events of random phone breakage, bike breakage, medical emergencies, and other bad streaks that typically pop up in my life when I least need them to. So, now, even with the insurance I can't afford, I am STILL getting medical bills I can't pay, for what the insurance didn't cover. While also paying for the insurance itself, which I have no money for (which incidentally, for the time being, neither covers dental work I desperately need to get done, nor specialists for my "pre-existing" Crohn's, which I very much need to get checked out, and which is why I have the damned insurance in the first place). I have an ever increasing phone bill I don't know how to pay. And in the meantime I just keep writing rent and utilities checks for money that has long since floated away into the ether.

This is bad enough, however, I still plan to move to San Francisco in October. I just have no idea how on earth I am going to do that financially. And even worse, I fear that if I can't get my depression in check, (which, yes, I also don't know how I am going to afford. (AMERICA! WHAT A COUNTRY!)), I will simply not have my faculties together to take such a drastic step. However, I feel like if I don't move now, I will crumble under the thought of such a daunting task, and stay in DC where my life will continue to devolve.

I will say, that I am working on a movie right now, and this is the only thing I have keeping my sanity holding by it's thin strand. Regardless of my feelings about film acting, it has been a thousand fold more rewarding that impalement of the theatre projects I've lost permanent time from my life to. Even when it gets stressful, we all are working together towards the common good of the project. There are definitely people I should never have a personal conversation with working on this with me, but it doesn't matter. Just getting along under the spirit of the film is enough. And the craziest part is that's it's film, and so I have no idea how on earth it's going to turn out. Part of me doesn't even care, but most of me just trusts the level of quality exemplified by everyone.

On the flipside, when I am not working on the film, I am most certainly not doing well. Everything in my life feels overwhelming, and, very much including myself, unsatisfying. Under this stress I simply lock up. I am virtually becoming a shut in, spending at least sixty to seventy percent of my time alone, in my apartment, mostly doing nothing. I of course hate this, but am not really in the right mind to overcome it. The lack of social interaction becomes painfully apparent when I do interact with other people. I find myself overly obnoxious, annoying, and often downright surly. And yet I cannot step in to slow down this horrible momentum.

I have no idea what I am going to do about any of the above, but, to quote The Stranglers, "Something Better Change.".........................

Push Down and Turn

XVX,
Denman

Some things never change.....

2008-05-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting here,in DF, in a fancy Euro-Gringo Holiday Inn restaurant using their wi-fi (and eating I suppose......).

It is, sadly, my last day in Mexico. Tomorrow I get on a plane, and head back to the bad america. I've met many people here since the last post, and done many things. Too much to talk about right now in fact. But I will, I assure you, get everyone caught up to date soon enough.

Today was Mayday, which is a VERY big deal here, and though I won't elaborate yet, I will leave you with this:

Stay tuned; more to come........

[!Viva La Anarchia!]

The Struggle Continues....

2008-04-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

So, today, ironically, while Kadd and I went seeking out important places in the Oaxcan uprising, to explore and document, we ended up in the reality of just how recent all those events were.

We went to eat, and then strolled down to the zocalo, where we came across this:

Apparently a new rector was put in place at this school, and based on the reasons why, and the history of this area, instead of complaining about it in the break room, the teachers and students took the building by force. This had just happened as soon as we showed up. Soon after,(not unlike anywhere else, especially the US right now), cops in riot gear showed up. They had done multiple banner drops, and had many people, at least one of which was brandishing a car mounted sized megaphone, loudly declaring their demands.

It deals with the uprising, and the amount of educators involved in its support. The government is now attempting to systematically put their own supporters in key positions in places like the educational system. It is the slow, and deliberate undoing of a revolt that is not being taken lightly by the people here (one woman was in tears, screaming through the bars of a window from the taken school, down to the media about the seriousness of the situation.):

At one point the police, at this point only armed with teargas, rushed the crowd, but suddenly the protesters ran around to the rear of the building, where the initial crowd followed:

Official representatives of the action, met a crowd of, supporters, onlookers, media, and police, through the rear door of the school to give more statements and explanations. Eventually, several people (maybe organizers, maybe government supporters), left the building to a chorus of cheers:

There was a briefly tense moment when reinforcements, toting machine guns, showed up, and looked as though they were ready to take care of the crowd:

However, soon the entire group, riot police and all, filed back to the front of the building, where students came out to give further speeches. You could see through the door that the protesters had wrecked the interior, and nearly torn all the doors off of the hinges:

Despite all of this, the action appeared to end in a somewhat relaxed standoff. And as we left the scene, no police had taken any action, and it appeared as though the people inside were able to move freely through the crowd. I am not sure any real arrests were made.

Most of the Spanish was too loud and frantic for me to comprehend any more than the basics of the situation. The internet access I have right now is very weak, and fragile. I have a short video that I will upload as soon as I can grab a better connection. I will also put up a few more pictures, and see if I can get any official information in English.

La lucha sigue.......

*To anyone who would like to use any of this media for their own reports, please feel free*

Okay.........

2008-04-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a real post:

Here I sit, in the Peace House in Oaxca City. Yup, that's right, Kadd and I shuffled on down the bunny trail. And we are both very exhausted at this point. (Hey, how many nights can one spend sleeping on bus, and still have a refreshed demeanor?)

Last night we indeed hopped onto a bus and pulled in here at the wee crack of dawn. However, our last few moments in Ole Puerto Escondido were not without adventure. In the near distance from the beach by our hostel, one could see an enormous raise of rocks, with a large stone lighthouse on top. Needless to say, we were determined to conquer this natural monument before the big goodbye. Kadd asked how we could get there, and we were assured that it was a mere half hour trot down the paved road......Which is surely true, in some reality, but not this one. We ended up leaving the paved road, which actually turned into this very odd, rustic, surfer-tourist enclave replete with little straw hut hotel, restaurant, and surf shop. However, past this was the beach, which lead straight to a vertical climb of massive, wet, rocks....Not so much was this the path we intended to tread. So, after many many many wrong turns and two encounters with the same very unleashed, very angry guard dog (fun city), we found ourselves confronted by another dirt dead end, this one surrounded by barbedwire. However, there was also a small native woman in her bra, who was more than happy to tell us about a path that led AROUND all of the private property and down to the beach. Even this we did not initially trust since it took for EVAR. However in the end we were in fact, led down to the beach once more. An area of the beach roughly the same distance from where we wanted to be on the OTHER side from where we started. So, after some fun sand high jinx, we walked down the beach BACK to the large vertical, wet, climb of rocks again. We eventually found a place safe enough to begin the climb, and up we went like little mountain squirrels. We were met at the top with two things: one, being huge thorn bushes and two, some very wealthy person's backyard. Between a maybe less than lucky climb back down, reenacting some of christ's wounds, and going bandit style, we chose stealthy trespassing. Now Kadd SWEARS that he saw guards at several points (I don't need to tell you how alot of the economies work around here), and we decided that, if caught, we would play the idiot gringo card. Fortunately, this never came up. Which was AMAZING considering that the ENTIRE trip took place between a steep, thorny, rocky cliff, and the very near doorsteps, of the very private property, of the very questionably wealthy people of the area. At last we reached the precipice, and stared down at the conquered lands atop the actually, not very large stone lighthouse. We eventually found a way down very close by, and trotted along the beach back "home" just in time to take off for our bus. Stupidity paid off in the end however, and here's the proof:

<3

2008-04-27T14:00:00.001-07:00

Paulo Manu Nicole

Bad scene, everyone's fault..

2008-04-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

*IF YOU ARE MY MOTHER AND FATHER, YOU WILL NOT WANT TO READ THIS, SO PLEASE SKIP DOWN TO THE STARS*

No pretty pictures, no witty banter. Just the funniest damn story of the trip so far. So, last night we went with Paulo, Nicole, and Manu, who drive El Barko del Amor, to a birthday party for a friend of theirs. It should be noted that this is a TOTALLY different world than the one Kadd and I inhabit. This is the world of wealthy, pretty, party people, and it is a far far cry from home. We eventually roll up to this small bar, for the festivities, that is well stocked with an international congregation of Calvin Klein models, replete with all expected douchebaggery. Though it was funny that right out of the box I made friends with this guy who came up and said,"Your shirt-It is something about metal yes?" He was an Italian, (there are maaany), now living mostly in LA, but you know, globe trotting, who also was very into metal. He was thrilled to find a new "brother" (I just assume he meant "Brother of true metal" as a Manowar reference, but who knows). So for a while, we excitedly geek out about metal in a way that looked less like we both spoke English, and more like two people frantically trying to communicate through impromptu sign language.

Of course, he eventually politely excused himself to go say hi to some other friends. And that's when it happened. About fifteen minutes after I get to this fantasy island Vanity Fair soiree, a well coiffed beach Aussi(?)(Kadd and I argued about this, since it was very hard to make out what she was saying. And I swore English was not her first language....But hey, I'm sure to an Aussi, the same could be said about my deep southern american family....) strolls over, leans down, and says (and I'm paraphrasing abit here),"It's a shame to waste this time of day; we should use the condoms I have in my purse before they expire." The look you have on your face could not be half as precious as the one mine formed into as I tried to wrap my head around the reality of what had just happened.

Again, I do not live in this world.

Do I sleep with people? Yes. Do I like to sleep with people? Of course. Am I conservative in how that happens? No. HOW-EV-ER. This is nooooot my typical modus operandi by any stretch of the imagination. The only time something like this REMOTELY happened, the woman in question had to be pretty darn persistent before I caved. But I digress, back to the moment, as it happened.

Well, of course my brain froze. "Would you care for a coffee,""Do you know what time it is,""I like your pants,""You are a really good dancer," Yes, But,"Hello. We fuck now." Holy. Shit. There is always that little voice in the back of your head that says,"Go ahead, do it." But instead, keeping more with my tradition, I apparently blurted something out like,"I don't think so....." (I had to have Kadd repeat it to me, since I had no real recollection) This apparently is not an appropriate response in said style of transaction. To which she snapped,"You don't know what you are talking about!" and stormed off. It was all we could do; all we could do to keep from crying, and pissing ourselves with laughter right then and there. Kadd, and I, wide eyed like we had just been threatened with a gun, began to go through the "holy shit!" conversation that was sure to follow. The final verdict: unbelievable! We had just landed on planet Senor Frogs, where BJ's are on the appetizer menu right between nachos and jager bombs. And of course, everything is paid for with daddy's credit card..................

Oh, what a night.

**************************************************************************************
Okay Mom and Dad it's safe to pick up here:

So, tonight we depart. We hit land, and leave our Fantasy Island adventure for more urban treasures. I will miss the the ocean, the sand, Paulo, Manu, Nicole, El Barko del Amor, El Jardin, wealthy gringo douchebags, an every thing else about this place. But as the sun sinks below the tide, we will be off to Oaxca City. Only for a day, maybe two, and then we hop over to DF for the remainder of our time in Mexico. It's certainly been an interesting journey so far, and I'm curious to see what happens next........

Holy hot ham and cheese on rye Batman....

2008-04-25T13:15:00.001-07:00

Is it sweltering here.......

31 frikin degrees, but I swear it feels like it's fifty.........

It's just one of those periods where the body has been broken, and the mind is cooked. Not much to be done in that type of situation, but, as the kids say, "chill."

My insomnia has gone through the roof trying to sleep in this atmosphere, but still and all it's great to be in beautiful Puerto Escondido

Apparently this place is internationally known for surfing. I guess that's why all the d00ds here look like they are playing for keeps.....

I still love the quirky El Barko del Amor where we are staying. They offer dinner, and so last night we thought we'd take them up on that. It's great (for us) that there aren't many people staying there. And the three people who run it, try to make it feel more like you are staying with some chill friends, instead of some random hostel. We all ate together, and and just kicked it for a while. The food was plentiful and awesome. And they totally understood that we were vegan, and cooked accordingly. Favorite quote of the the night (all in Espanol): Me,"Sorry, but I don't speak very much Spanish..," Woman (one of the owners),"That's okay, I don't speak much English." Okay not so funny now, but if you had been there......... Tonight there is supposed to be some big party there, and Kadd and I are both horribly intrigued.

I have of course been drawing more. It's funny because with enough free time to feel the urge to do SOMETHING, drawing has been my constant source of happiness. What this means I have no idea, but it could be another important piece of the puzzle...

In the meantime, like I said, it's too hot to think, not to mention write. (As I'm sure the simplistic meandering of this entry proves). I leave you then, with more pix:

The Beach:

Our Neighbors:

Everybody Loves:

Our Neighbors:

And of Course:

Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! (hey-ah!)

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!

And then I suddenly found myself on the Love Boat....

2008-04-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

*Amusing explanatory photo not found*

But I do have this:

So, after what was falsely purported to be the most vomitously horrible trip turned out to be the best bus ride I have ever taken, Kadd and I suddenly found ourselves surrounded by beautiful Gringo Beach (or whatever it's "official" name is). We were quickly met at the buss station by a woman handing out fliers for a hostel, and that, we decided, was that.

When we got out of the cab we saw a strange brick, quirky, junior high, red, pink, and heart....painted building. A loud and welcoming voice beaconed us to come in....And suddenly we were surrounded by a group of attractive women giving us keys to our room...in a hostel called...."The Love Boat." I'll give you more pix later, but in the meantime, here is my view from the balcony:

And after about a three minute walk, I hit the most hella trill ocean that I have ever seen. From the gingo strip it looks something like this:

I have not gone swimming in years....I never swim....so I am enjoying the hell out

of playing the role of beach bum as opposed to black metal scumfuck for a while. No tight pants, no hoodie, no metal shirt.....Just navy blue swim trunks (well...and more often than not, big black shades....What can ya do?). I've been working on my sunburn, and I think it's coming along quite well...However I will STILL not fit in with the average crowd here (which is my life's goal..) comprised mostly of painfully well chiseled, uber attractive, men and women, who are serious surfers with serious money. Don't get me wrong, I hang out with my fair share of douchebags, but a very specific type of douchebag who I feel comfortable around. At any rate, it is rather amazing to be here, AND I certainly can't wait to get back to the water.......

In the meantime, you can hear me rant like an idiot on Kadd's great blog:
Here

Chiapas (Week Two) from Joshua Stephens on Vimeo.
I would say more, but um....I'm at the beach?...So deal with that

Well, well, well

2008-04-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

I'm finally off to Oaxca; frightening isn't it?:

But not as frightening as either that picture of the 16 hour bus ride I am about to go on.......

I will miss you San Cristobal. I will miss you Casa del Pan. I will miss you other place owned by the people who own Casa del Pan. I will miss you Kinoki. I will miss you hostel that should probably be called "The Contact High." I hope you all die of a terrible plague idiotic, cracker, hippies...........

From here I am off to the beach. To what exactly I have no idea, nor do I know when I will be able to get on the interwebz again. But when I do, you will know......

Ta-ta for now.....

I said....

2008-04-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

My eyes are DOWN HERE!

Anywho, weeks in the middle of San Cristobal feel like months...I can't really remember a time when I was not here. When my days weren't filled with tofu, tortillas, americanos (not many places here serve "coffee"..), hours of internet cafes and everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, the hideous pariah that a friend of a friend geniusly termed:"trustafarians." (For the uninitiated, many of us purport all downwardly mobile romantics to have a twin sibling named "Trust-Fund," and usually we are right......The ACTUALLY poor find this to be incredibly endearing, and long for the days when they are so privileged that they can CHOOSE to never shower, wallow around in shit-stained clothes, and eat from garbage cans..............)

Nothing much new here, except going to a real, honest to god, terrifying(!), shopping mall to get swim trunks...Oh and maybe eating at a restaurant that had a real live (and quite haggard) chicken wandering around talking to itself:

Today we did manage to break the monotony up by going to the market to get many a very fresh vegetable (and then trap me in a terrifying warehouse of all manner of dead, rotting, and completely NOT SAFE FOR CONSUMPTION fish. Bags of fish, tables of fish, stacks and stacks of fish.....I nearly ralphed...Until we got to the exposed innards of other animals sitting around on tables in an un-ventilated warehouse part of the trip.....Peta should maybe invest in sending people here to quell their meat habits instead of constantly competing with American Apparel for the title of,"Worlds Biggest Child Molester".....), and then scurried over to our friend Kristin's house to make a big ole pot of soup while we listened to podcasts of Fair Game and UFOnaut Radio (yessssss!!)

I suppose I have been drawing again, which makes me happy:

Kadd and I were trying to push our flight back so we could leave Mexico a little earlier, and stay in San Francisco a little longer, but this was simply not economically feasible..........So, here I sit, in an internet cafe, surrounded by hippies and a language I can still barely speak......welllllll....maybe I'll draw for a bit.....

Lost in Tr.....oh fuck that....

2008-04-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when like me, you are a super pinche gringo, sometimes you try to do things and it just doesn't work out the way you wanted to. I was in a cafe and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything
But then again I was thinking about nothing
And then the server came over and I didn't even know she was there she called my name
And I didn't even hear it, and then she started going: hello!
And I go:
What, what's the matter
And she goes:
Can I get something for you?
I go:
Nothing please
And she goes:
Don't tell me nothing, you're on drugs!
And I go:
No I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a bottle of water.
And she goes:
NO you're on drugs!
I go:
No I'm okay, I'm just thinking about getting a bottle of water.
She goes:
No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!
I go:
Mam just give me a bottle of water please
All I want is a bottle of water, and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a bottle of water, just one water, and she wouldn't give it to me.
Just a water.

And apparently, somehow I'd ordered a mate.....Now I'm really not sure how in our conversation the confusion over what I had said had turned into,"yes, okay mate," but I damn sure wasn't going to argue with that. Sure beats the fields of coffee I've been drinking......

Though I've been fighting with insane insomnia here for the past week, today was pretty good. After spending a dreary half day in said same interwebz cafe, I up and went for a walk....I went all around the main part of San Cristobal. I went by the store that houses the collective of indigenous people who make their own very hip paper, pads, posters, books, etc, out of fairly renewable resources and picked up a few neat things. Then I strolled around until I found a place to grab a new pen (a nice double ended sharpie to be exact)...

Let me deviate for a moment here. Purchasing things in Mexican stores can be very confusing, especially if you are not well versed in the language. First you find someone to help you, and you tell them what you want. Then they take said item, and write you a ticket. Then you take that ticket to a tinted (god knows, bulletproof) enclosed booth where a phantom hand takes the ticket, and tells you how much you owe. THEN you take that ticket, and give it to a person in a similar, non-tinted booth, where they finally give you your item......You know, in the US, we just carry guns to deal with shrinkage.......

Anywho, once you get used to that, throwing your soiled toilet paper in the trash instead of the bowl is a cake walk......So then I went to Tierrardentro to grab another AMAZING soy burger (probably soy from a cow in reality.........) some fries, and maybe a little drawing.......in my fancy new handmade and drawing book.......And then, after a great Americano (I know, but here they are quite potent...It's more like
ordering you espresso "biggie size"), I hit the stones to join Kadd at Kinoki. After trotting this out, and finishing my mate, all the while listening to my favorite episode of the "Monday Night 80's" podcast (the Halloween episode, like *DUH*) I think I'll head into the little theatre to catch David Lynch's last film........."And finally I'll sleep-I'll sleep through the niiiiight!!"

The next time I come to Mexico I need a job and fluency

2008-04-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

So.........now that I have this free time in Mexico, what have I been doing?.......Well, apparently spending alot of time on the interwebs.........

Today for example, I spent HOURS downloading killer music from download blogs that specialize in obscure, underground, and out of print music. Alot of these people meticulously research, rip (mostly from vinyl!), and upload alot of cherished music from their personal collections.

The reason that I am posting about this here instead of Auralsuppository is that John and I have an agreement to only talk about records we have actually purchased, which I totally agree with. However, most of these records are out of print (and Manowar does not need my money).

So, after sorting out two records that I already had on my computron, but not had labeled (an out of print live Iron Lung record, and the unofficial Fear of God discography (holyshitamazing!!1111)) here is what I spend my hard earned time in another country down loading:

Cruel Atake-Demo
D.O.N.D.O.N.-Skulls EP
Final Count-Flexi EP
Impaled Nazarene - Soumi Finnland Perkele
Korihor/Abigainl- Alkoholik Metal Blasphemers
Manowar-Gods of War ('07-The most Ridiculous yet. Like an Asatru children's record)
Nifelheim - Envoy of Lucifer (soooooogoooooooood)
Surrender of Divinity-Oriental Hell Rhythmics (Thai Black Metal1111)
VA Consolidation 7"-Rhetoric/Revulsion/Deviated Instinct
Gouka-Answer in One's Self
Gibbed-Demo (?) (Maybe members of Unholy Grave......)

And then I devolved into watching 3 Inches of Blood videos (Hey whatever, did you see the Manowar record?......)

Who knows, maybe if I stay in Mexico long enough I'll be the world's most well versed music nerd..................I'll get mad dates then................................

Not much new...

2008-04-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

Just some photos:

Becoming a bit restless, but that's more of an existential conundrum................

The best laid plans of mice and men

2008-04-12T09:53:00.001-07:00

Sometimes change a fucking lot:

So, here I sit, in an internet cafe, in my mind, miles away from the school in Oventic. Kadd and I, unable to overcome the "6th grade lunchroom" dynamic of the other students, and running low on funds, among other things, have departed early to advance our trip to the next leg.

The people that live in the Caracole were great, and many of the experiences will be forever important to my life, but for now, we got all we could from the most important period of our vacation.

It should be noted however, that we were all able to bond during a brief period a few nights ago.

Let me back up abit, and talk about last Thursday. April 10th is a huge holiday for the Zapatistas, what with it being the day Emiliano Zapata was assassinated and all. There were no classes that day, however there were rehearsals for a theatre piece we had split into three groups to write, direct, and perform in the cultural part of the celebrations. We worked on this off and on between eating copious amounts of wonderfully gross, state-fair style food, and watching the never-ending basketball tournament (holy shit do Zapatistas LOVE basketball. Like up at five AM on the courts love..). Beyond the food, and b-ball, there was music, and dancing, and a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong speech read by the buengobierno (in Castillano, and then in Tzotzil. Which seemed as though, as Kadd put it, the guy read out a list of every word in the language..) Performing in front of all those people was great. Although it was funny when I said "Todos", referring to the people, and they THOUGHT I said "Torros," not so much referring to the people......Hey, you try yelling clearly and concisely in another language while wearing a pasamantana......

They might speak in a low, slow, monotone while giving speeches, but I'll be damned if the Zapatistas don't throw down when it's time to party. As the band struck up, the kids hit the floor like they were storming a military base. And I mean tight too. What in the EE.UU. we would call,"all up in my personal space." And with a tempo fast enough, and relentless enough to break through the space time continuum, we got it on for about two hours non-stop. I do believe these people could out last any well experienced DJ night hipster, oh, about five times over. I smiled long and large enough to broadcast my missing teeth in to space.

Well you know me. The band said good night, everyone scattered, and we all went back to the dorm. This would not be enough for Captain Junior Party Monster. About ten minutes into hearing some other EE.UU. peeps play the SAME GODDAMMNED SONGS THEY PLAY ON THE SAME DAMNED GUITAR, EVERY DAMNED NIGHT!!!1111, I got out my laptop and started the dj dance party. Soon friend and foe alike were shaking their asses like the olive branch never dropped. The entire experience was climaxed by a huge teach along of, believe it or not, the Soja Boy. Yes, it's true, for world peace to really occur, all that needs to happen is for the people of all countries to come together and,"super soak that ho." A more bizarre sight was never seen.

Which brings me back to the present. After taking a cab back into San Cris, checking into a hostel, getting a fantastic night's sleep, showering and shaving, we are now ready to take this city by storm (what an un-original idea....).

After a great breakfast, I suddenly felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel excited to be here again. I am so lucky, so fortunate, not only to be here, but after being here for a while, to have the privilege to be able to travel here and experience this place. A privilege not afforded to many people here.

I'm excited to be here for a while, excited to go to Oaxaca, to DF, and just plain, dammned excited.

For today at least, I am happy.....

PS

2008-04-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

Joshua, who is here with me, has been posting a much more positive version of our experience here

And he is also making weekly videos of our time here; which he has told me I can totally rip off to post here (One of these is abit NSFW, and to my parents who will surely see these, I am heartfully sorry in advance....Just close your ears and pretend it isn't happening. You know, pretend you are catholic....):

Denman's Boo Boo from Joshua Stephens on Vimeo.

Chiapas Week One from Joshua Stephens on Vimeo.

Maybe my blog will be more chipper next week....(Start holding your breath now....)

Trying to find that place that I am already at...

2008-04-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

So I made it to Mexico, and here I am, in a cafe with internet that flickers like an old lightbulb. And I can't help but feel abit like that constant flux myself.

I'm not sure what I expected this trip to be like, and I can't say that I know anymore now than before I left.

Let's back up a little. I do feel very lucky to be here, and I definitely think it is very important to listen to and learn from the Zapatistas. Even if people don't necessarily agree with them, everyone should at least learn about their struggle to overcome their place as a societally steamrolled indigenous peoples facing a certain type of genocide (as they have for generations), to a people who have risen up to make their voices be heard for their own dignity, liberty, and justice, and by doing so, create a new type of community devoted to the acquisition of these fundamental rights, for all people.

I must admit there is nothing more vicerally moving than watching footage of a group of girls, all around the age of fourteen, tear through a barbedwire fence, and screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs, attack a heavily armed group of soldiers, with only their voices and their bare hands. The disconnect between this and the average act of the short minded US activist is that this is a direct action to merely attain survival. There is nothing symbolic, romantic, or cavalier about this. The Zapatistas rose up because they were simply tired of dying, and dying in total silence. Therefore, this is a totally justified act with a direct effect on these peoples' lives.

It has been painfully difficult to get the information that the people running the school have been constantly trying to inundate me with, because it is all in Castellano ("Spanish" in the colonial). Now it's true that the reason I came here was to learn this language, and there is plenty of hand holding in certain classes, but when the Zapatistas really try to drive home their experiences and struggles, and then use their answers to challenge you to recreate your own world, it is completely in a language I am still painfully rudimentary in understanding.

Normally it would be up to others whose Castellano is in a much more stable place to translate this tantamount aspect of our being here, however, often there seems to be much resentment about having to carry the weight of the "slow" members of the group. Which is where my only conflict in being here comes into play.

Now I can't really say that the promontories and I know each other well enough to get along, since at the moment we have no shared language. But they have all been nothing but nice, and patient, and generally pleased that I have come to learn from them. No, my problems come from the typical place: gringos. I have never felt so pre-judged and constantly persecuted by such a hyper-"radical"-political group of people in my life. And because of this two things have happened: One is that by day two I had a serious depression trigger that I am still feeling the wounds from, and two is that since I feel so marginalized in the group, I don't feel like I have the right to be participating. For someone like me who runs the spectrum from "Doesn't get along with many people" to "Fucking hates everyone," it's very difficult to over come this jagged wall of Jersey Barriers in order to listen to the people I truly do want to interact with. This is something I hope to remedy next week, as it will be an impossibly long, and heavily hearted, fruitless month here without this personal reconciliation.

Being in San Cristobal for the weekend has made me realize how murky and unreadable my feelings about this trip are so far. The good news is that this gives me sometime to get a hold on things before, in typical style, my depression takes over. The bad news is that there is that slim chance that the horrifically later will win out. Of course, losing my ipod, which is a constant source of maintaining my frail sanity, will be a serious blow that I don't know how I will deal with yet (and yes, this means I lost my ipod here, week one.)

I can't really embrace some black metal, luciferian dogma here, and become an isolated stoic with a potential will to power. I am just going to have to figure out how to suck it up, and move on.

Once again, my mind works in such bizarre ways. One would think that being in a place where the toilets have no seats, there is only one place to get drinkable water due to amoebas, only being able to shower, wash clothes, and shave once a week, and die in the heat of the day, only to freeze in the cold of the night, would bother me. But these things really haven't (yet). I just take this part and parcel as part of the experience. No, it's my necessary interactions with spiteful people who come from the the same place I do, that are trying to tear this experience from the seams for me, who shatter my stability.

I suppose I thought I would be able to use this escape from my environment to help me reflect on finding the path where answers may lay, to a time in my life when I am beyond lost, confused, and frustrated by where my existence is at. Of course there is such a child-like naivite in that type of logic. I have neither left reality on this trip no more than I have put my personality on hold. Which is another reason that I feel my sentiment is too in flux right now to get even the simplest hold of.

Well, well, well...While I try to piece things together, here are some photos that chronicle only the positive aspects of my trip thus far:

So, yeah, these are the people I am staying with, and learning from.......

blogging from my phone...

2008-03-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

Fuck you guys; I'm going to Mexico.

What have I-What have I-What have I done to deserve this....

2008-03-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

Even as I write this, I am in, I assure you, excruciating pain. Leaving off all the other problems in my life at this moment, let's just focus on the one that is the super funnest:

My 6mm kidney stone

So I'm technically what one would call "straight-edge." I still use the term, but don't follow all of the rigidity of the dogma. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I do drink coffee, so I guess I'm out as a hardliner (poor me, no pro-life homophobic boneheaded-ness). I have huge problems with taking prescribed drugs, however when dealing with a condition that Wikipedia explains as:

"Colicky pain: "loin to groin". Often described as the "the worst pain I've ever experienced"

One quickly finds a balance between the need to stay sober and pure, and the need to sleep and eat and have horrifically gutwrenching pain subdued.

I held out as long as I could, but after four miserable days, I finally checked myself into the ER on Saturday. I waited four two hours before I politely told the receptionist that I could no longer take the pain. Soon I was lying on a bed being whisked into an ER room. A doctor ran down a list of questions, and then a nurse sprinted in and hooked me up to an IV. I believe I was saying,"Um.....", as she said,"This is morphine; it will kill the pain." And as much as I detest the idea of something like that ever going in to my body (I didn't sleep for two days after I had a resection operation five years ago, and they gave me a button to push for morphine. I had to be long-windedly talked into it), I was soon at a calm I had not felt in four days. That night I actually slept, and I was really hoping to do the same thing tonight.

Before I left the ER they gave me two percocet to get me through the night, and a prescription for vikodin. The morphine finally wore off midday today, and so I quickly took a percocet once the stabbing began. Well, really I took half a percocet, as I still feel uncomfortable about all of this. Within a few hours I soon realized that this was not going to do it, and so I took the other half. A few hours into this a realized that all this had done was make me loopy, and not affect the pain.

As soon as I got home I popped a vikodin. Ahhhh, but really I popped a generic vikodin, as I could not afford the "real thing." I slid right into bed, finally happy for this misery to be over......or so I thought. An hour and a half into it, and I might as well have taken a Flintstones vitamin. I checked the bottle, and it said to take "one or two for every six hour period." After a brief debate, I decided to opt for round two. So now, here I sit, waiting for any of this terrible, degenerate, over-priced medicine to actually do anything, and I fear that wait could be all night.

I understand the process of passing a kidney stone, and I'd much rather pass it on my own without any procedure, however one cannot function under this sort of pain. As a normal, non-privileged amerikkkan, I do not have the luxury of talking to a doctor about proper medication, and then a long day of rest. I have to get up, and go to work. Which is not really something I will be able to do with no sleep.....due to unbearable pain, which magical phaeries will surely not have removed in this time period...........

When does this become worth it?

Curious how all this feels? Just watch this Discordance Axis video; it will explain:

Hooray for life

2008-03-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Life is that moment between death and birth where we get to experience pain......

And then some days........

2008-03-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, though I have a few more post to edit and homogenize, I have nearly moved all of my musical content over to Aural Suppository. Why all of it you ask? Well, the reason that I started doing the minterviews was because artists I talked about in this blog started finding and reading through google, and while that's great, I want to create a proper platform for that outside of this more personal blog.

And on that note.......Today was the odd kind of day where you can go from Suicide, to New Order,(and I mean Get Ready, yeah, the "car commercial" album....). Maybe therapy is making my mood and emotions yo-yo, but I think it's moving in an "I-think-I-can" positive direction.

So, this morning I woke up in a distant, depressive mood, and plodded through my day with a typical melancholy. I got home, once again, totally exhausted; I have still not recovered from NCOR. I had no time to rest however, since Dan and were meeting to continue the writing process for our next theatre project, and since we did not find any concrete solutions in the last meeting, I wasn't really looking forward to it. However, once I got to his place I felt this strange energy start to rise up in me. And soon enough, I was frantically pacing around, gesturing wildly with a coffee cupped hand.

We still kept hitting a very, horribly, frustrating wall however. We kept talking about meaning, after meaning, after meaning, and in the end two things happened: we meaned ourselves to death, and I don't think either one of us had any clue what we were talking about anymore. At some point I just broke down and said "stop!" We both had researched this project, we both had written mock mini pieces to work from, and we both knew what the hell we were doing. I suggested we acknowledge this, and then forget everything. Throw it right out the fucking window. We just needed to trust our ideas, and write them without analyzing them. And what do you know, we wrote an entire skeleton to work with the group from, in about one simple hour. Good fight; good night.

Which brings me to what could potentially be a slight retraction. I may not totally quit theatre next year. It turns out that Dan is not going to grad school next year, however he is still planning to create his own projects. And while I see our theatre company experiment alot like history views the great communist experiment, I would be willing to keep working on projects with only Dan. This would mean two things for me, one is that I would be less involved with the productions themselves, and two is that most of my creativity would be spent writing. As opposed to holding up a taped together knife, while reciting lines from Hamlet, with my own drool and snot running down my face, wishing I could use said prop to slit my own throat.

Which brings me to my final argument (I don't know either..), how can I do things like this and make a living? Neither Dan nor I want to compromise our work with the commodification required by the mainstream theatre community. Work theoretically equals income, and Dan and I would be working ourselves into the ground. However I'm not sure where the income would flow from. The job I have now is a fantastic model. An LLC, collective, where everyone is an equal partner, who has equal access to all commerce, and also equal responsibility to all duties. We have an accountant, a shared bank account, benefits, paid vacation, an amazing website, business cards, palm cards, and weekly meetings to keep on top of everything. The problem is that we are providing a service; the service of dog walking. Theatre is not a service, and therefore the income source would not be the same. I know for a fact that the model works, I just need to find out where the money comes from. Sure, it would be easy to charge money for the shows, and then use that to fund more shows. However, while I need to be able to do that, I also need to be able to provide a living wage. I'm an anticapitalist, and this is way out of my territory. I've thought about grants, but where can you find someone crazy (I mean, crazy amazing...) enough to fund your projects, plus give each member about $30,000 a year to cover living expenses?

Fortunately I have my current job, and it's quite stable, but I need to start figuring this problem out (you know.....before I turn forty)

Well dear reader friends.....Ideas?............

Back to basics

2008-03-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

Okay,

So I am officially about to delete all of my music blogging on here, and move it to the new fangled blog that John and I have put together called Aural Suppository. I decided that blogging with John would be more fun than me talking to myself about rando records on here. No, no, no...I need this blog all to myself to complain about petty comings and goings in my life that are surely worse than those of a starving child in a third world country. Well, let's do the short list in the interim:

1.I started therapy
2.I survived NCOR
3.I wrote a new short piece that I am using to help write another piece for theatre
4.I am very close now to jumping the border
5.I am about to go back on health insurance
6.My phone broke, I bought another one, it never came, I bought another one, the other finally arrived, I got screwed out of $200. Fuck ebay.
7.As usual, tumult, tumult, tumult..........

But hey, I bought alot of new Martin Deny records with money I don't have, so that's good right?.....

More to come I swear.....

2008-02-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

And speaking of winners, mailorder customers Kraig Keller and Denman
Anderson were the two lucky recepients of $25 AQ gift certificates,
randomly selected from the pool of peeps who sent in their 2007 Top
Ten lists before our deadline last month. Thanks again to everybody
who shared their lists (often with more than ten items, and often
with interesting and/or entertaining commentary). You're all tops
with us. You can view the collected 2007 Customer Top tens here:
http://www.aquariusrecords.org/2007customerfaves.html. Check it out.

DENMAN ANDERSON

1.Ammo)(omma-Go to Hell cd-r
2.Caacrinolas-Vargtimmen cd-r
3.Wolves in the Throne Room-Diadem of 12 Stars 2xlp
4.Harvey Milk-My Love is Higher Than Your Assessment of What My Love
Could Be (re-release) cd
5.L'Acephale-Mord und Totschlag cd
6.Bone Awl-Undying Glare 7"
7.Time of the Wolf-s/t cd
8.M.I.A.-Kala
9.Xasthur-Xasthur mlp
10.Yelle-Pop-Up cd
11. De Magia Veterum-Spikes Through Eyes Demo, Clavicula Salomonis,
The Blood of Prophets and Saints

Ring-around-the-rosy....

2008-02-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

Sorry, for the week + delay on the OvO minterview; I appear to have contracted the plague............All of it will be up as soon as I get caught up with the NCOR work that got back logged last week when I was playing chess with the grim reaper......

Also, it might be noteworthy to both of my loyal readers that my friend John from Mundane Arcana and I have talked about joining forces to create a music blog together. Hopefully that will work out so I can have this one just for crying every time I skin my knee..........

A funny thing happened on the way to walk your dogs.....

2008-01-08T13:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess it's a two for Tuesday...When it rains it pours, and god knows I can make it rain!

Anywho, here's a funny bit of a story. I was walking these two shoebox sized yappers deep in Petworth today, when I rounded a corner and came across a group of guys slowly making their way towards a car. As I drew nearer one of them gave me a strange wave, and they all cracked slightly crooked smiles at me. Oblivious to anything they might be saying due to my earbuds, I slipped them off and said "hey" as our paths met. One of them slyly says to me,"Ey man, you cuz?" (at least I'm 99% sure that's what he said....Ah my rock n roll killed 1K....) A little thrown off I repeated,"cuz?" Then came the moment of clarity in so many ways,"I see you slinging that blue back and forth in your back left pocket." My brain, and mouth both went,"oh!" (as in ohmygod, that guy wasn't waving at all, he was throwing up gang signs!) "*shaky laughter, shaky laugher* No..." And with that I casually went on my way....all the way to the Giant where I got a black bandana to replace the blue one that previously called my back left pocket home. I should have been tipped off to the intelligence of this move when several months ago, late on a Saturday night downtown, an suv pulled up, and excitedly out of the back window popped a head and yelled,"We're crips! we're crips!!" I suppose live and learn.....don't and end up on the wrong side a bullet. How man times must that nearly have happened to me in this neighborhood ?(or not for the same reason.......)

Well, I'm off to take care of some drive by's......

Stuff and Things....

2008-01-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so first let me just get it out of the way: Last May my grandmother on my fathers side suddenly succumb to medical complications. It affected me deeply, and I hopped a plane to MS for a very dreary couple of days.....Yesterday I received a text message that my grandmother on my mothers side was in the ER with serious breathing problems. This grandmother has been in shaky to deteriorating condition for quite a while now.........Let's not have a repeat quite so fast.........

Alright, with that out of the way let's get on with it.

I finally got the last record in the mail from my recent ebay binge. It was the original 7" version of the Furze "S" record. It's not amazing, but it is good. I am glad I found it, and I only had to order it from Italy.

I ordered a couple of new records from Aquarius. Of course I waited one day debating whether or not I should be spending more money on records, so they were already sold out of the majority of things I wanted. But I'm fairly sure I was able to get this:
MINORU SATO (M/S, SASW) + ASUNA Texture In Glass Tubes And Reed Organ

Listening to the samples provided it's very hypnotically enchanting. And rightfully so when you read the description:
For the first track, five harmonic states were recorded separately, using a chord organ to cause sympathetic vibrations in glass tubes, or something like that. Regardless, the result is a dense, subtly shimmering near static drone. Five tones, each layered upon the other, woven into a reverberating tapestry of sound, a glistening dreamlike blur, very Niblock like in it's swirl of subtle overtones, the various tones beating and pulsing almost imperceptibly, 38 minutes of pure glimmering sun dappled soft static bliss.
Anywho, I'm super excited to listen to the whole record.

The ones that I didn't get to in time (ah super limited cd-r's) were from Faunasabbatha records. Both records were eerie, ambient, and swirling in thorny ambient noise.
SORC'HENN Harmonium Pieces & Dead Reveries was the first album. The webstore says, Sorc'Henn are from France, and their particular brand of heaviness, as the title of their disc suggests is all about the harmonium, the piano, and lots and lots of drones. The opening track is a thick cloud of piano overtones, lots of sustain and reverb, a single funereal chord, struck over and over and over, the tones blending into each other, the overtones building up until it's some sort of doomy sonata. And indeed the samples provided sounded something like that.

The other cd-r was WAVERLY HILLS The Nurse Aquarius says, But sonically, Waverly Hills don't so much resemble funereal doom, as they do, modern noise rock, or Japanese ultra psych. The guitars are caustic coruscating streaks of blurred buzz, unleashed in heaving waves, while much of the band's time is spent crawling doomlike through a field of sonic broken glass, the guitars spend most of their time erupting in squalls of near white noise that sound like Keiji Haino fronting the Dead C. Thick clouds of whirling buzz, deconstructed riffage, super abstract percussion, the vocals a subsonic rumble, a blurred low end gurgle (except when it's a haunting ghostlike falsetto!) underpinning the soaring and drifting slabs of buzz overhead. Imagine doom metal being pulled apart, the notes and chords and riffs being rent asunder, the resulting squall still dark and doomy, by way more tripped out and damaged. And the description does not quite do justice to the crushing wall of complex noise that the excerpts held.

At any rate there is a fifty-fifty chance that a few more copies of these will"pop-up" at Aquarius.......

Though I'm trapped in a nightmare scenario where I don't get out on the weekends until one in the AM, I was able to catch some killer djing this weekend. I caught the tail end of the insane Sorted last Friday. It was with the Wasted Youth Crew dj's who turned out to be like ten of the most respected dj's in the area.......I was able to catch two.......It was all the jams and bangers you'd expect from a night like this. It was all really tight, and the crowd was definitely feeling it.

Saturday night I was able to see the majority of the Tittsworth set at the 9:30 (where I never go...). While several dj friends of mine and I have debated his musical selection, I had a blast. Say what you will about a guy who remixes the Cars (who I love) and Milli Vanilli, but no one can argue about his proficiency. Everything was tight, calculated, and smooth. And while I would have liked to hear some gun shots, he did hit several stints of the total crunk that I am so into right now. Go figure, the twenty nine year old straight edger is one of about twenty people still dancing when they force the dj to stop at three fifteen (and yes, at that point he was playing the song from Dirty Dancing, but I think it was his way of clearing out the crowd..)

As for this week, all I have to really look forward to is the Misery Index/Time of the Wolf show on Thurs, as my weekends still are (and still will be, all the frikkin way through the very first night of "Kicks" my friend Kim and Sara's post Pow-Wow dj night of pop, garage, first wave punk, etc. And I'm pissed about missing all but the last hour of this...) still killed for nearly the rest of the month....

In the meantime just keep pushing further into 2000-hate, the year of vengeance

Well.....

2008-01-06T09:48:00.001-08:00

It's Sunday afternoon, shouldn't you be at brunch?........

Two quick things...

2008-01-05T10:41:00.000-08:00

First, for the love of god will girls between the ages of nineteen to twenty one, who are REALLY hot, please stop trying to pick me up in the club. There were THREE last night alone. Every time I say no it feels like taking a rusty pair of garden trimmers and clipping one of my fingers off........

Second, I normally never remember my dreams, but I had a kinda strange one last night that just stayed in there. I was at a party that was, I believe, outside somewhere? Anywho at some point I got really tired (I know right....), and decided the logical thing to do would be to go take a nap in a random car. At some point the people who own the car start to get in, but I'm so worn out that I can't open my eyes. I ask who is it, and a girl says,"Who do you think it is?" I guess I was supposed to know, and somehow I thought maybe I did. The next thing I know, we are driving up a winding path on either a large hill or a small mountain. Suddenly they stop the car, and though I don't remember what they said, it was alluding to some sort of ominous plan. Suddenly I am able to open my eyes again, and I see that they have walked off of the road, and gone part of the way down the hill. Um....then explosions start. I dazedly think,"I have to get out of here, but casually so as not to attract attention." At that point someone runs screaming past me on fire. I get halfway down the road, and remember that I've left my bag in the car. I see the cops coming, and debate going back for a second. But if the authorities find my bag then they will link me to this....um....bizarre bombing event....So I calmly walk back, and not only get my bag, but wipe the car down to eliminate any fingerprints that I might have left. After that I casually walk back "into town," and end up at some random house for safety....Where I have to keep this young girl from hooking up with me!.......

christ, that's it I'm going to brunch.......

2007: The year of 365 days

2007-12-31T13:12:00.000-08:00

Really, what more can I say? Not all that killin much about this year. There were some personal highlights: 1. After four years, I retired from baristadom; now I am just a coffee snob. 2. I started listening to both real black metal (all the fvcking time..), and real DJ's. Thus falling further down the slippery slope of friendless music jerk (and that's fine with me....) 3. I finally got my own frikkin theatre company. (more on that later) 4. I finally nailed down a serious relationship with an adorable girl who I really get along with. (HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Fuck no that didn't happen....Maybe '08 will bring a worthy opponent.)

I'm already on the bandwagon for resolutions, or, more to the point, I should say proclamations. I've had it, in general, with everything. 2008 (incidentally, the year I hit the big three-oh) will be the year of massive changes. I finally feel like I've been owed alot more, and I'm cashing in my chips all at once.

One big thing that I'm toying with is taking a year off of theatre. For the past ten years it has brought me nothing but frustration. Few and far between projects that I have worked on have really felt fulfilling. It's very hard for me to straighten out what in my brain, I personally could do, and maybe a year or so off would give me clarity in this. Even the company that I helped found, under the very clear vision of Dan VanHoozer, will A. only be around for one season. and B. Has put itself into such a situation right now that is making me want to pull my teeth out one by one. I've been thinking about what I would focus on instead (because I am not capable of just taking time off...) and I think maybe music and/or other art is the answer. I have recently started a band, and though the timing has kept us from practicing alot lately, when we do I feel the kind of excitement that I so desperately look for in theatre. I would also love to toy around with learning how to DJ. Beyond that, I'd love to start screening my own shirts and hoodies, and beyond that, maybe dabbling in the plastic arts some. Who knows, maybe Kylos can start filming that movie that I'm supposed to star in......Whatever I do, at the very least, it will need to be arts related, as I do know that makes me happy.

I'm always broke as hell, but maybe I'll travel more. I finally got my passport in the mail the other day, so the rest of the world can no longer keep me out. First stop: Chiapas, Mexico, which is where I will hopefully be spending most of my April.

Alright jerks, that's it. I need to get ready for the typical lame new years in DC. Tonight I will be going into battle, and then going to a hopefully small but rockin' DJ party at Pharmacy, and then off to the Cat for the aftermath.

As for you: crush it, kill it, destroy it, and get the hell out of my way......

Well here we are again....

2007-12-22T17:29:00.000-08:00

So, here I am am with another seasonal, I suppose, blog. One day I will make myself write at least one small paragraph a week, but until then.........

So, what's new, you don't ask? Well, alot, and nothing.

Currently I am writing on my brand new computron. My poor, sad, old computron put up a good fight, but sadly, went the way of Chrystal Clear Pepsi. My new fangled Mac (hey, I did say it was a computer...) is not a "pro," like it's predecessor, but it is quite amazing. I got the high-end macbook (wait for it......yes, the black one....). Let's see, it's black, everything goes together with these adorable magnets, it has a camera built into it, and jesus christ on a blind date with the holy ghost, it has a REMOTE CONTROL!?!? (omgwtfbbq right?!) So, this should placate me for a while.

Which, I suppose takes us right on into music. Since my life is a perfect concoction of pink cupcake surprises and happy pony hop along dances, I would have no need to fill the void where, surely, a large red heart is embroidered into my white circular belly. In which case I would certainly not need to do anything like, oh say, compulsively bid on black metal albums on ebay. I would never do this, but if I did need this distraction from mortality, I would certainly grab gems like these:

1. Furze-Trident Autocrat MLP (!!!!!!!) (Go find a copy yourself, oh wait, you can't!!)
2. Furze- "S" 7"
3. Bone Awl-At The Ellipse's Arc 7" (What, not cassette you say? No indeed, a 7".)
4.XIBALBA-Ah Dzan poop Ek Double LP (Whenever this comes in......I'm getting worried.)
5.Nachtmystium-Reign of the Malicious PicLP (Awesome.....Just awesome...)
6.Xasthur/Striborg Split 7" w/shirt (maybe not so awesome...I need the new Striborg 7" split on Southern Lord....)

I mean, hey, if I was to do this sort of thing it would be okay because I certainly wouldn't pay say, over $40 for a 7". And even if I NEEDED to, that also would be okay, since I have all this money.......

Beyond that, I've gotten some old (for me) records out and can safely say:

Time Will Fuse It's Worth is a frikkin killer record; 100% solid.
Flowers in the Attic may well have been one of the most underrated bands on the entire east coast. I believe, with (forgive me) trends being what they are now, had they been a west coast band, every kid with the word "doom" on his tongue would own the entire discography (and no, they were not, per se, a "doom" band.) I don't know how many people actually bought their last album, especially considering the problems that the band was having, but it's a solid hell-stomper.

There have been a ton of year end lists floating around, so here is my super ADD, top ten songs of the winter:

1.Agalloch-"Falling Snow"
2.Furze-"Witchboundator"
3.Urfaust-"Der Halbtoten Dichters Schein-Existenz"
4.(DON'T EVEN, EVER ASK!!!) Tegan and Sara-"Dark Come Soon"
5.Bathory-"Die in Fire"
6.Joy Division-"Digital" (DIE YOU HIPSTER SCUMFUCKS DIE!)
7.Saxon-"Denim and Leather"
8.M.I.A.-Paper Planes
9.L'Acephale-"Book of Lies"
10.Weakling-""Dead as Dreams"

Also, I'm still trying to help out Time of the Wolf . I gave their full length another listen the other day, and even with all the insane black metal that I have been listening to these days, it's a solid album. I just need to find more places to send it to. Since the Wargoat radio information has not been updated on the website, I have no idea if Dimitri ever played it there, I never heard back from blackmetalradio.com, and Aquarius is knee deep in both records to review and holiday sales to mail out (mine included!). I wish I knew where to send it to get it reviewed for play on XM. God knows I used to live within walking distance of their DC headquarters, and TOTW beats 99% of the crap they play on "liquidmetal." I should also just suck it up, and send a copy to Oaken Throne. I mean, the chances that it will get reviewed are slim to none, but I suppose it's worth a shot.

It is also worth mentioning that I myself have formed a band. No, it's not black metal, but, shock and surprise, it is droney, doomey, metal-cuspy-and heavy as fvck. It has two basses and no guitars. It's an allstar lineup as well. My friend Adrian, who plays in a noise driven two man piece called Brontosaurus, as well as his awesome solo project Stymphalian Birds & White Stags; my friend Rusty, of Twats fame, now with rock joint, Sons of Guns; and John "Hellhammer Junior" Seager, who drumms for the ever blazing DC crust band Aghast. Truth be told, we have only practiced twice, once to figure out what we were doing, and again, to lay down the beginning of a track. Whatever this beast turns out to be, it will be crushing and epic. I'm excited to say the least.

Theatre: Don't get me started on theatre right now. Except to say that, in true DC fashion, even my own company is trying, with it's own strong breath, to force feeble mortal air into the long dust encrusted lungs of the dead in a pathetic attempt to bring life back into them.

Beyond that, it's alot of biking, and walking dogs. God, I just hope my passport comes through so I can go to Chiapas in March...........

Dear dark-lord, please help me think of a better name for this stupid blogggggggg

Well, it's time to justify having a blog again....

2007-10-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

So, I'm just dropping a quick "hi" to pacify the blogger masses. I suppose too much has gone on to explain in detail here, especially since I don't have the time. So here are the highlights:

This year I'm helping plan NCOR, the National Conference on Organized Resistance.
Or, as it's trying to rename itself right now:
NCRO, The National Conference Resisting Organization (instance 1: shoot me!)

I am also working with the same group I did last year, in theatre. I suppose I should call it "my group" as we are like minded colleges who formed our own "company." I also suppose I should not call it a "theatre company," as right out of the box, we have transcended that concept. Our first project for the season, is going to be a very interesting photo installation. We are each evolving our own concept for the piece, and when mine got done someone kept using the word "drone" to describe it. The group also looked like they'd just been told that their entire family had been burned to death in a terrible accident. Perfect.......And yes, we have no name.

I'm also trying to learn Spanish. I cannot hear, and it occurs to me that one cannot learn a language without that trait. Most of my tutoring at this point has been comprised of reading complex political arguments, picking out the words that look familiar, and then trying to explain what the article is about. (instance 2: shoot me) At this point, I am either going to have *HUGE* "aha," or a tear-riddled-breakdown.

I am still walking the walk, talking the talk, and sticking it to the man.

Music, music, music, music

Here is the smallest synopsis that I can muster:

Baltimore gutter is amazing. Big hearts Aaron LaCrate.
I cannot stop listening to amazing dj mixes featuring lot's of gun cock and firing effects, and guest tracks by Roxy Cottontail.

Black Boned Angel-Eternal Love/Eternal Hunger, is the best drone album I have heard in a long time. It's so immediate, yet ambient, and viscerally responsive.

L'Acephale is absolutely amazing. I have Mord und Totschlag, and I cannot stop listening to it. It's an incredibly well crafted combination of experimental and true kvlt. I cannot stop, it is so good.

I actually like the new Xasthur album. It is looooooooong, it is aaaaaaammmmmbient. And in a certain mind set, I would cry if I had to listen to this, but as it is, Defective Epitaph and I are in the same place.

I also got the newest Caacrinolas album, Vargtimmen, and likewise I cannot stop listening to it. It's got such a perfect, minimal, eerie, and clinical sound. Rather like an alien operation, full of strange language and tools, only you are the unwilling patient. fantastic.

Finally, fuck a bunch of love life, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, repeat, repeat, repeat, ad nauseum........ (instance 3: shoot me)

well, this could be a whole book if I went into more detail with any of these. Who knows, maybe I will later. In the meantime, keep listening to Weakling, Dead as Dreams

SSSSHHHHH!! Don't tell anyone I have a crush....

2007-08-28T20:26:00.001-07:00

....On every single member of the Rentals.

That's right, last Sunday I parted ways with one arm and one leg for the sake of seeing one band, and above and beyond any expectations, did they ever deliver.

I have to admit, I was "that guy" for the first two bands. I stayed upstairs, looked zombified with boredom, generally forgot to clap, but hey, generally, this was not my scene. Then, after all the hemming and hawing, I finally went down to the stage for the main event as it were. Let me just say, I have never seen a band obviously having so much fun playing, in my entire life. The Rentals put on a show that felt less like the headlining of a large venue, but more like a band hanging out in their practice space and working on some new tunes after having invited all of their friends over to watch.

As black, cold, and dead as my heart is, after the first recognizable chord, it welled up with warmth, and bubbled up beyond a lively red, all the way into a hot, throbbing pink. I was elated, and danced uncontrollably until the bittersweet end. It is a rare show indeed where I wish the band would just come back and play the entire set again.

It was obvious that they had played these songs over and over and over a million times, so they did the only thing they could do, they goofed off. There were tones of in-jokes, winked looks, and out and out shenanigans going on for the whole shebang. But it was always sincere, and inclusive of the audience. Their melodramatic, moog-power-pop just hit you over the head like so much cheap valentines day candy, then fluttered across you like waves of half dead rose petals.

No one acted like a rockstar, and you could tell that they were genuinely excited about playing the new numbers for the crowd. At one point they even covered a Weezer song just to watch everyone freak out. Playing just about everything in toto, they hit the entire first record (of course), mixed in songs from the second, and did all the songs off of the new EP (which is okay, but I enjoyed the new songs better when they were live).

All in all, it was the most fun I'd had all week, and absolutely went down on the list of amazing shows that I've been privy to this year.

It's true:
I don't think
I'll find the love I want
The love I'm searching for
In this machine-oh
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooo-oooooooo

More, more, more

2007-08-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

It must be your lucky-little-day, because you are getting a two for one. (or hell maybe a three or four before we're all said and done today)

The Application:

Please fulfill all of the following criteria to be considered as an applicant:

1. I am, or am near the age of 30

2. I am vegan

3. I am straight edge (or sober)

4. I do not believe in the capitalist system

5. I am not a christian

6. I am into, or am understanding of people who are into hard, abrasive, or confounding music

7. I ride a bicycle

8. I like to dance

9. I am female

10. I am single

11. I am attracted in some capacity to boys

Thank you for your time

Number of applications sent: ?
Number of applicants fulfilling the following criteria: 0

One: At what point does the blueness of the skin, and the stars clouding the vision let one know that one's breath has been held too long?

And Two: Is there such a thing as a non-christian nun?

Thank you for your time

B[l]ack log

2007-08-28T12:15:00.001-07:00

So, I suppose it's reached the six month point again....that must mean it's time to drop a few lines....BUT WAIT! I HAVE. Sadly, only on myspace. So for all the people that can't hold the unrine in to see what I've been up to, well, mostly obsessing over black metal, but anywho, here ya go:

Black Metal is the new.....well.....you know......
Category: Religion and Philosophy

So, I know I'm all over that band wagon right about now, but as of late I cannot get enough black metal. It's true that when you read Lords of Chaos they say that Amerikkka is the last country to catch the dark-wave, but who thought that in ten years we'd be the ones hanging ten, leading the pack? I mean, the only thing crazier than that is the fact that all the really good stuff (holding it's own might I add, on the world scene) is coming from the west coast!?!

First there is my horrible new, late night, random vinyl purchasing addiction. At this rate I will soon have to learn how to make shelter out of my records. Last night for instance, I came across (lucifer, most of this stuff comes from the Aquarious Records page.) an amazing new find, Amocoma. You'll have to scroll down to find the records, but do it so you can listen to the samples. It hardly qualifies and BM, but more like a quality midwest noise band trying their hand at some of the more popular fuzzed out variety. I mean, you can hardly hear the "anything" in the mix, which for me right now is quite an addictive sound. Let's hope the entire cd-r feels that way. I also grabbed a couple of vinyl releases from the mysterious Bone Awl a band that you either like because you are mesmerized by the music, or because you are even more mesmerized by their cult following. Needless to say, by the time they processed the order, one of the records was already sold out. It's not like they haven't released much material. If you're curious, it's off kilter, lo-fi (there it goes again) black thrash. It's primitive, chaotic, and evil to be sure. I also took a chance on a not so black metal cd-r by a band called Cambodia , who describe themselves as hardcore/metal/shoegaze, and it is rather like a sludge band trying their hand at shoegaze. The misanthropy on their myspace page (they claim to only add people they know as friends. We'll see if they add me. Maybe I should say that I used to help Magrudergrind set up shows in DC; apparently they played together(!?!?)) makes the average black metaler look like a depression councilor. Still and all, I hope for good things from the whole album after getting a crack at a few of the tracks.

In the meantime, I should back up to other recent purchases. I just received the final release from Xasthur on Moribund records. While it is a full lp, it is technically an mlp, since it only has three tracks (and not in a drone kinda way). That aside, it is an addictive album. Simply called Xasthur, I get the feeling he was only trying to fulfill a contract obligation. However Xasthur can't even cop out under those circumstances. There's alot going on here. It's clearly classic black metal, but deeply overlaid with samples, and soundscapes in way that is woven together, and not distracting. The whole album could really be one long track, as that's the way it feels. It even cuts off abruptly on the first side. The vinyl itself is of course, collectable green, and the layout is a simple yet amazing black and white photo of arctic stalactites. I can't seem to get it off my record player. However, it has had to take turns with Leviathan's The Tenth Sub-Level of Suicide double LP. I know, I know, I know, that EVERYONE is doing double lp releases these days (I mean, I even bought the Sunn 0)))/Boris collaborative TRIPLE LP! but it was totally worth it...), however Wrest is actually able to make it work. I dropped it again today, and realized how well crafted the Introit to Fucking Your Ghost in Chains of Ice (How metal is that for a song title???) beginning is. From the there it just pounds the life out of you, before you hit the other side and fall into a more ambient, melodic aftermath. All in all, the whole record is like this, sort of a mini-tour of the genre and artist. Once again, it's a great record, and more proof that the US west coast is where the black metal of today is.

I also bought the new Wolves In the Throne Room double LP release, Diadem of Twelve Stars. It's good, very good. It runs the gamut of the other end of the genre, mixing quality black metal with alot of the popular Neurot Records sound that is frikkin everywhere these days. But don't let that give you a bad impression, this album is all of those things crafted together as they should sound (and not like the last time I saw Pelican live...*yuck!*). Although I'm sort of in a different place with BM right now (really lo-fi, buzzy, experimental), I'm sure I will keep coming back to this album again and again.

I was listening to the newest Wargoat Radio podcast today, and I could not help but notice how many bands on it sounded like Furze a project that I find myself more and more into these days. I can't quite figure it out, except that Woe j. Reaper (really) has mastered the catchiest black metal guitar hooks this side of a nintendo game. Really, the intro to Witchboundator gets stuck in my head all the time. Now I'm not claiming that Woe J. is the originator of this sound; he just seems to be the most popular purveyor of it at present.

Other than that, I just keep searching through the infernal hordes for valiant stand outs. I need to keep myself (or just let go) from buying all those vinyl re-releases of Velvet Cacoon records. I am also hoping to get my hands on the new Deathspell Omega album. Does anyone know if Weakling ever put out a vinyl version of their record? I'd love to get my hands on that......right after I mortgage our rented apartment......

In the meantime
In nomine Dei nostri Satanas Luciferi excelsi!
Denman
Shemhamforash!

Currently Listening to:

Weakling- Dead as Dreams

8:20 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

August 10, 2007 - Friday

I suppose it’s that time again...
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

So, it's been several months. You know what that means, it's time to post a new blog. So here's what's been going on in my off-kilter world.

First, the good news: I'm not depressed. I don't know what happened, but one day I woke up, and it was just gone. Maybe the CIA chip finally hit a glitch, and until they fix it I can live a normal life again. It's been great except for the comming to, looking around, and going,"what the fuck!? Has anyone been doing any upkeep here!?" So, now I just need to start putting things back together.

Which brings me to the past several months, when I willfully invited the work monster to bring his fat ass right on in, and sit on me.

First, after four years I bid farewell to baristadom. In, maybe, an odd turn of events, I've joined a (basically, anarcho, me included) dog-walking-workers-collective. It's a very progressive, positve situation, that more people should look into. A company, where everyone is co-owner. This means that we all depend on one another to maintain the infratructure, and in turn, we all reap the benefits. Be the middle-man. And, I might add, as of late, no dog has questioned my ability to walk them (as opposed to say, the questioning of my ability to even work a microwave by your typical, spoiled, middle-class cafe customer.) I think this will be good for me, and I'll be happy doing this for a while. Then I will plan the next step.

I also did "butt-loads" of theatre last season. I did a nude Macbeth (FOR EVER) that racked up quite alot of attention, even American Theatre Magazine. It was a great a cast, a great director, and it turned out, well.....you know....Besides that, I embarked on, what went from a fun project, to a serious collaboration. A very artistically trusted friend of mine asked me to hop on board an idea he had. The idea was to do an hour long, original production of Marlowe's DR. Faustus, and hand out popcorn and beer to the audience (well, hey at least popcorn is good). We spent a couple months, "in the room" hammering out the script, and then realized that combined with the rest of our production ideas, had a very good piece on our hands. So we took a month off, and then attacked it like locust. Several more amazing people came on board at that point , to complete the process. We hit the road doing a mini tour of several DC spaces, and by the time we hit the Capitol Fringe Fest, we were playing to sold out, standing room only houses (okay, so the seating was limited, but hey, let me roll around in this for awhile). I made this wack-job lighting rig out of boarderline theatrical fixtures, and random everyday crap. It was all portable, and could be set up anywhere. I then wired it all to reistats (those little dimmery lightey switches you have in your house to "set the mood."), and became part of the show, running the whole thing from the playing space. Plus I regularly got up to confess sins durring the audience participation part of the show, once again, pressing the limits of free speech, and bringing about heretofore uknown grimaces of horror from the crowd. All-in-all, it was one of the most positve theatrical experiences I've ever been a part of. So clearly, we are taking a month off, and then getting the remaining team back together to talk about next season. Awesome.

And speaking of awesome, let's talk about my new musical love. (Well, besides international-indie-dance-music. I love you forever Bonde do Role!!!!!) I cold-heart, black metal. I know it's painfully (pun intened) popular right now, but since it's still in the underground, it's so (add lot's of "O"'s here) good. I remember listening to some black metal in college, but half of it was poser crap, and this was before the new wave of early 2nd wave puritst came out. (If there is no corpse paint and foot long nail gauntlets, there is no balck in that metal!) And while I still need to stay on my toes ethically, I find myself listening to these unholy hordes all the frikkin time. In fact, I'm listening to the Leviathan The Tenth Sub-Level of Suicide double LP right now (and it's amazing!). At this rate, I will soon forfeit my entire band account to bizzare, collectible vinyl. I just got that record the other day (after a looooong fight with UPS) along with my new treasured children, Wolves in the Throne Room Diadem of 12 Stars double LP on green vinyl, and the Horn of Dagoth rehearsal cdr II, totally numbered, and decorated IN THEIR OWN BLOOD!!!(REALLY!!!). Not that it's BM, but I even got the new Sunn 0))) Oracle LP (sweeet sweeet drone will eventually get me evicteeeeeeeeed.) I need to stop now; Just ordered the TRIPLE LP!!! Boris/Sunn 0))) colaboration and the final Xasthur Xasthur MLP. Oh (dark)god, but it's all so good.

I have also been thinking more about politics lately. I am, of course, still correct in my views, but I've decided to educate myself more on them. Study more the beliefs I hold dear. Plenty of kids with a Nausea shirt will just retort,"because it's right." but that doesn't get you very far, even with yourself. I've also decided to try to be a little more DIY. I'm thinking about makeing screens to print shirts, and hoddies for all the random-off-the-radar black metal I've gotten into (just in time for our hoary lords' season of gray despair). Also, I'm looking into cleaning alternatives. I don't care what label says, nothing in there is healthy for you. I cleaned the bathroom with white vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice. Whadaya know, cleanest it's ever been, without cleaning years off my life. Maybe I will get into more trouble. Could be fun.

I suppose the only bad news was that it was my ten year high school reunion this weekend. Of course there was more chance of me going to mass than that god-forsaken thing. I saw pictures.....everyone looked old....really old....and bad.....reeeeaaaaally baaaad....ugly, scary bad. And then I felt old, and bad, and ugly.......I talked to the only person I really give a damn about from those years, Kyle. After a long overdue conversation I remembered that though I am old, I don't look old, I certainly don't act old, and damn gurl, I look good. (though everyone should donate to the "Feed the Denman Foundation." Oh, and cure Crohn's Disease.) So at 29 I'm an anarcho-straight-edge-vegan-bike-ridding-hxc-punk-(black)-metal-loving-dog-walking-indie-dj-night-scenester. I'm sure as hell not a married-accountant-fat-bald-"tanned"-with-two-point-five-kid-church-going-zombie. And everyday that I wake up still evading that fate I should thank the universe.*WHEW!*

Well that's it for now. I have to go walk some dogs before going to A Different Kind of Dude . It's gonna rock hard.

Werd to yer mother,
Denman

battybwoys rize up wit dem gunz dem dancehall bwoys fi die

2007-03-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

Okay,

So what's more disappointing than really getting into a genre of music only to discover that it is totally fulled by hate? When I get into music I take it down with a death grip. I find out who is important in the movement, who started it, and then start downloading as many different examples as possible. So when I started getting interested in grime, I knew that I would have to look up it's more interesting roots of dancehall. Doing this, I started downloading alot of Cutty Ranks, some Lil' Vicious, Ninjaman, and my fave Bounty Killer.

While Looking up more interesting info on Bounty Killer I came across some links to queer groups who had started campaigns to ban popular dancehall artists from playing outside of Jamaica. Then I found these lyrics posted in an article on the Amnesty International Website:
"Bun a fire pon a kuh pon mister fagoty, Ears ah ben up and a wince under agony, Poop man fi drown a dat a yawd man philosophy". What does all this Jamaican Dialect mean?........Well they also took the time to "translate" which goes roughly like this:
(Burn gay men, til they wince under agony, gay men should drown, that's the yard man's philosophy)

Jesus, what the fuck?! I, once again, just don't understand how a people that have surely gone through much persecution and strife can then, in turn, shove this same type of hate onto another similar (I know, only in some ways) group?

To a degree it is certainly true that it is not my argument being a white, straight, middle-class background, straight, amerikkkan, male. However, in so much as people are directly being hurt from this, I feel at least entitled to my two cents.

If this is cultural then I don't have any say since people must choose the direction of their own culture, and it is not my place, as an interloper, to shape that change.

However, what I am more inclined to believe, is that this has more to do with religion (which is cultural true, but you can have one even if the other is torn away), the I would say it is not "............No Masters." But it is "No gods No Masters"

This could be one more way that religion tears people apart and breeds nothing but hate. True many other human movements equally cause the same damage, but religion can unify a people behind a dogma with with blind, and life-threatening conviction faster that just about any other "cause" on earth.

So my advice to the queer community in Jamaica is simple: Shoot Back!

Let's talk about Black Metal

2007-01-10T22:09:00.000-08:00

So I just read the book Lords of Chaos, and being a fan of black metal, found it quite enlightening. Now don't get me wrong I always knew about the rumors of how crazy the Norwegian BM community was, and therefore was weary from time to time of certain bands. However reading this book has put a lot of puzzle pieces together making me pretty fucking cautious about what bands I entertain.

In the back of the book the authors do a brief summary of the movements through out the globe circa about 2000. They mention america, but say that so far the second BM wave had not largely caught on. Let's fast forward to today.

As of now, at least in the musical underground, there has been a huge revival of black metal. Like I've already stated, even I find myself in the eye of this storm. However, I don't think many US kids get what being into some of this scene has meant, and done in other countries. Or if they do, they are not taking it as seriously as their Scandinavian counterparts (which is a travesty).

Black Metal was founded on the idea of turning away from christ and following lucifer in a bloody war against the heavens. I have no problem with this, and in fact, quite the romantic fascination (though I don't really believe in any of it.) In Norway, when they discovered Venom, no one found an ounce of humor in it. Making good on the promises of albums like Welcome to Hell, the Norwegian BM scene unleashed a slew of grave desecrations, ancient church burnings, and eventually several homicides. Needless to say these were mostly perpetrated by angry youths who lived in a country that had all the catatonic boredom of a US suburb. Like it or hate it this type of environment, in recent history, has always produced movements such as this.

Now here comes the part of the, quite true, story that I don't get. When the original founders of the Norwegian BM scene got a little older they turned this love for Satan into a love for Wotan. Not all mind you, but a number of influential names. And the belief system (some type of Asatru) goes a little something like this: (judeo-) Christianity is a plague on the earth, the way to overcome this plague is by returning to the previous culture, to return to this previous culture we must delve into the fatherland, in order to do this we must believe that our fatherland needs to stay pure, in order to keep der faterland pure we must overcome all other lands. In other words, we begin with, destroy christianity, and end with, kill the jews. I have no idea how this came about.

With the ever reaching influence of people like Varg Vikerns (BURZUM YOU IDIOTS! VARG VIKERNS IS BURZUM, AND ALSO A NATIONAL SOCIALIST!!) much of the modern BM scene has at least toyed with the imagery and language involved with asatru/national socialist aryan supremacy. With this increased reach, and ever growing popularity of all BM this point of view has started to permeate even our own backyards.

I remember flipping through the friends of my favorite local black metal band's ( Time of the Wolf, no NSBM just good old satanism. Everyone should check out this awesome band) myspace page looking for other good area black metal, and comming across a symbol I knew to be quite aryan. Below the image was the exclamation,"Wotan Mit Unst!" (Wotan be with us). I sent this statement to an at the time German friend of mine who sent back a reply that started,"Viking Scum!" She went on to explain that this might fly in the US, but was a very serious statement in Germany. At the time I had little grasp of her letter, but after reading Lords of Chaos I know exactly what she means.

This viking/wotan/NS craze has started to pop up everywhere. The trouble is, you have to know what you are looking for. For example, I listen to the streaming web Black Metal Radio on a regular basis. I've always assumed it was relatively safe. However tonight a band came on called Breath of Sorrows, who sounded like the real deal. Since I like the original sound better than the newer commodified sound, I decided to look them up. Comming across their myspace profile I could not help but notice that one of their friends was "HLP," and while I had no idea what the other two letters stood for, I could have put money on the first. Well, I was right. It took me straight to the "Heathen (anything 'Heathen' is a dead giveaway, as this is mostly a Vikernes term) Luciferian propaganda Army, who actually had the nerve to put Graveland in their top eight. For those of you who don't know, Graveland is Polands biggest NS, asatru, aryan, 14 word following moron. The FP of "Darken" (who IS the band (yea, Burzum part II)) looks innocent enough. Mostly a bunch of dorky, renfair looking Viking re-enactment photos. But even then if you look at the quirky cultural symbols slapped here and there, you might begin to know that something is up. Sure enough, click on any option of his website, and out comes the hate, from very scary beliefs, to his praising a new band for not be too afraid to praise the white man. (I guess he has lost all memory of Hitler's first empirical action)

All of the above mentioned US groups come from Vegas, and as the right wing leaning bands in the DC area mostly come from the suburbs of VA and MD, you can see the trend starting all over again. A lot of these kids come to shows, are nice and polite, are down with kids who have the right idea, and then sport a Darkthrone shirt (a band who thinks anyone who doesn't like their albums must be jewish). I do not shake my head at inverted crosses, pentagrams, corpsepaint, adorning footlong nails, and brandishing swords and axes, but for christ sake let's not start worshiping Odin for the white race.

In conclusion: SATAN YES WOTAN NO!!

(Some bands are just funny. 1349 claims that their name comes from the year when the plague first invaded Norway.....oh and purely coincidentally, according to Wiki, the same year that the Jewish Population of Basel are (I kid you not) incinerated being believed to have brought the plague to Switzerland, aaaand 2,000 Jews are burned to death in Strasbourg.
I also wonder if I get more trouble from this post from the FBI for visiting these websites, or the NSP for saying the inflammatory things.)

Movin on up

2006-10-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

*I have not proofed this, and will do so later*

So,

I write this in a bare room (save my bag and my bike), with a borowed wifi conection (ah appartment living!). This past week has proved the edict "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." I had two crisies back to back, and then the process of moving. Which technically I haven't started yet. First, we had auditions for my friend Kylos' trailer shoot. He's doing this to use in grant proposals and backer meetings, so that he might shoot the full length of a screenplay he wrote. Ironically enough, (and even more ironic is how every other audition anecdote goes exactly like this), all of the actresses that we saw were a little, well, lacking. However Kylos did show an interest in the barista, who had nothing to do with the auditions, or acting in general (It goes without saying that these auditions were at the Warehouse). After some coaxing, I got my coffee slinging friend to come up and read. And whadaya know, she fit the bill. So that was the last piece of the pie, and we were all set to shoot for the weekend.

On the flipside, we started the last few rehearsals for the Beckett radio play that I'm directing. And after some spotty e-mails, the character of Music did not show up. I e-mailed him again, and still nothing. After night two with no one, both the cast and I felt we could go no further, so I canned the next night and called some other people I knew. The crapy thing about the person who was playing music is that he's kind of a friend of mine. I think he's a great guy, an awesome performer, and a genous musician. Now I haven't lost any faith in him, but it's always frustrating when someone you know let's you down. This is a big deal for me, and I'm also a little nervous about directing again. However, I did find other musicians to fill the roll, who are equally as good. They (or one of them with music from both) are supposed to come tomorow night, so we can finally get the ball rolling. I'm very excited, but I'll also feel better once this one is in the can.

Back to the first story (this will make sense later), I got a very profesional, but panicked voice mail from my friend Kylos on Wed. (the night I finally decided to cancell rehearsal, and look for a new Music) saying that my friend who had agreed to play the female lead in the trailer had dropped out. This was just about the last thing I needed to hear. We were both making a mad dash to find a solution to this since we were slated to shoot on Friday. I called my friend to figure out what was going on, and to try and convince her that the right thing to do was to follow through with her agreement. I literaly used the term "we're fucked" since that was the truth. Her explanations were her explanations, and there was, in the end, nothing I could do to persuade her. (We had re-scheduled the shooting to fit her schedule.) At that point, between my two crisies, I was just about ready to try my hand at noose tying. However, once again, sincronicity landed at my feet. I literally walked out of the cafe after work, and ran into a friend of my, who would be perfect, and showed interest. Of course it would be several days of spotty communication before the deal was sealed.

So about that weekend shoot.......It was a blast. My friend was better than perfect, and everyone else was too. We met early Saturday in a bar at 8:00 a.m., which I found a little disorienting. The first hour was just setting up and figuring out how things were going to look. I ate bagels, and traded smart ass remarks with the rest of the cast and crew. Finally, wethe first shot rolling, and it was like clockwork from then on. We were still waiting for the lead actress to come, but I had told her 9:00 anyway. The funny thing was that no-one really knew if we had anyone until she physically arived. I finally got a phone call, and went out to fetch her. You would have thought I was bringing in the gall who invented the vegan dog; so much applause and hollering. From here on out, we knew that we were actually going to do this thing. We got the next couple of scenes going, and finally put her in one. It totally clicked, and we cried tears of joy. We got done at that location, and took a luch break before the next. Of course that was supposed to be in a park, and not with the inclimate weather that had suddenly set in. We did a mad dash to find a fill in spot, and when we got there the rain had subsided. Go figure. So we lethargically set up for th next scene. When we were finished it was a bright and sunny day, and as such the Los decided that we needed to go to the original site, and re-shoot the scene there. We got through it twice, and the bamafied batteries in the camera kicked the bucket. So that was that; day one, in the can. Today was a much easier day. I got up and lazily pedalled up to bruch. After that I went accross the street to the next shooting location. Parking was a nightmare, things had been left behind, and the lead actress hadn't seen the script yet. By the time we got rolling we had an hour and a half to shoot and leave. You could feel the stress in the air. But not only did we do it, we did it well. I was amazed how quickly we got in there and did the job right. So once again we took a break and got some food. Okay so the break lasted a little longer than anticipated. The half the talent fell asleep (okay one of two), and the rest of us watched tv. When she came to we were ready to shoot the last two scenes, the first of which was a bedroom scene that was about....well....making out. I suppose this should have been hot since she's very attractive, but it just felt like shooting another scene. After that Kylos filmed the "dead naked bloody in a bathtub" scene, which sounded very strange from the other room. And that was that. We were done. I don't know why I can't spend every weekend doing this (instead of working at ANOTHER cafe). I cannot wait to see the finished product.

So onto the last dillema, moving. That girl that dropped out of the trailer three days before the shoot? Yeah, that was my new roomate. However, it's the same situation as with my other friend, just a let down. Getting her to answer her phone calls was abit of a struggle, and a little panicky since she had the keys. The other problem was finding a vehicle to move in. She was using the guys she seeing's van, and I thought I would be able to use that as well. However since I heard little from her for most of the weekend, that was a no go. Once again, FORTUNATELLY, I ran into my amazing friend Rusty on Saturday night, who said that he would bring his bands van around Monday night, and give me a hand. So here I am, in my new room. Still beaming from the great weekend. Releived and nervous about my full rehearsal tomorow, and very, very, very happy to move into a new place. Here's to hoping that this is a trend.

The surest way to stop posting on your blog...

2006-09-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Is to start a real one;

I know.

I know, I know, I know at this point I don't even deserve this thing. I have horribly abused my privilege. If there was a social services for bloggs I would not even get a day in court to argue my case (But I may be in court for several charges of neglect).

So, there I've said sorry, and really what's done is done.

Onto the nonsense:

So what have I been up to in the past three years since my last post? Well summer is over thank god. I truly think that there is a direct connection between my depression, and the season of the burning sun. Fall is where I start to feel human again. I know that most of this is due to the fact that with the fall, theatre season gets going again, but I also feel a certain magic in the air at this time of the year. And in particular with this season, I have a lot to feel good about. I have the whole year worked out from here until June. I'm directing a short Beckett radio play as a podcast for the DC Beckett fest., I'm acting and doing lighting design for the Skriker for Forum, then I'm acting in King Lear for WSC, and finally I'm acting in Macbeth (YES I SAID IT: MACBETH MACBETH MACBETH!!! GET OVER IT!!!!!) So, while we still aren't busting down walls of convention, and kicking the crutches out from under the stilted, big budget focused, marketing oriented, "deadly" theatre creating scene that dominates far too much of the land in the District, I am at least working on with some great people on some interesting projects. If all goes well it will be a great year that could lead to bigger and better things.

The same cannot be said for the Warehouse Next Door. Yes, it's official the warehouse as we know it is soon going to shuffle off this mortal coil. Though the music venue as a whole is not going to die I fear everyday that it will not live up to it's previous glory. Here is abit of the backstory, and a little more information. Roughly six months ago our bosses met with each member of the WND individually to broach the subject of moving it from it's current home to the building between that space and the cafe. We all hinted that this might not be the best idea. The acoustics are, to put it mildly, not so good, the space is very small, and finally it just isn't the room that people all over the country have been used to coming to and playing in for the last three years. We scrunched our eyes shut, crossed our fingers, and held our breath. After a week or so.....nothing. We thought we had dodged the bullet, and that would be that. Oh what little naive wrongards we were. Six months later, out of nowhere, the deal was done; I had sent one last pleading e-mail, and was asked again to meet with them (in Disneyworld the meeting would have gone something like this,"Okay, we admit it, you're right. Keeping the integrity of the space is the only way to ensure long-term success. It won't be easy, but we've gone ahead and agreed to your idea to use the time and money that would go towards the change over into making the space better. And we've finally agreed to hire you as the full time space manager and band booker. Now let's get down to business.") I was ready with my arguments to fire off in the name of the Warehouse. "It cost a thousand dollars last month just to run the air conditioning." * * *
And with that I had nothing. Don't get me wrong, kids had agreed to help; they were all gung ho about doing benefits. It was hard to explain to them that while two hundred dollars from a great night is most appreciated, it would in no way shape or form begin to put a dent in the tens of thousands of dollars worth of losses that we've accrued EACH year for the past three years. I am, for the record, not happy about this, and I still smell a certain door in the wind. However, I can at least applaud the Rupperts for keeping the music venue. And though I had threatened to quit should this take place, at the end of the day I just couldn't imagine not being able to set up shows (mostly on my terms, for whoever I wanted, and always always always all ages). So let's look at the future. It's true, the space will not be as large as the Warehouse space we have now, but they are knocking out walls to make more room. They are also getting rid of the seating that is in there now, since we won't need it. My two big sticking points for this change is that we have to have as much space as possible for people coming to see the show, and that we MUST put some sort of warm acoustic paneling in the space. I will try my damnedest to keep as much of the sound quality in the new space as we had in the old. Next, we can't do as nearly as many punk/metal/hardcore shows anymore. But this would have happened anyway, since we need to do more "normal" shows to increase income. I'd rather do about one awesome, aggressive show a week, than not do any shows period. I sadly won't be able to do many random shows for area metal bands anymore, but you know, if Unholy Grave comes back then it's on. We are going to start doing dj nights as well. Smaller Saint Ex style nights in the cafe, and larger Black Cat style nights in the space. That way we could even have a show in the new WND and dj's in the cafe. (I mean c'mon anyone that knows me knows I can't even begin to lie about not liking dj nights.) The biggest change will be that the new entrance will be through the cafe. They're going to knock a hole in the wall somewhere, and make that the new way into the space. This also means that we will not have a bar specific to the Warehouse (if any of you are familiar, Emily is leaving and this makes the whole world cry just a little. It really won't be the same without her.) The cafe bar will now also serve as the music bar. Well that's about all I can say for now. The change is taking place at the beginning of November, and I don't have an eta on the new space yet. All I can do for the time being is take a break from booking, be ready for what's to come, and try not to cry. Even though we still going to be here, I want to thank every band that played the original space, everyone one that came to shows (for sadly there were not enough of you), and mostly everyone that ever worked or helped out there.

Now back to the trivial.

I recently got a new record player. My family was nice enough, about a year and half ago, to buy me a turntable for my birthday. With all their good intentions they had no real idea of what to look for, so what I received was tantamount to what a record player might look like if radio shack manufactured it. Don't get me wrong, at the time I was thrilled, and I put that poor plastic horse to work. Unfortunately that was the one thing the instruction manual forgot to put on the "never" list. It lasted about a year, then became cantankerous, and finally threw in the towel all together. In the six months that followed I was without a way to listen to my beloved vinyl. Which was not to say that I stopped collecting records during that time; on the contrary my lust just increased. So much so that I finally reached my breaking point. I think it was when my parents found my long lost record collection from college (a time when I didn't even have access to a record player, but still insisted on hobbling a paltry collection together.) So I did what I always do in times like this, spent hours on the internet agonizing over which one to buy. Every now and then I'd go to the Technics page and just cry. I knew that had to find something affordable, but I still wanted a dj turntable with direct drive. This pickle cast me to the land of Gemini's, Stanton's, and Numark's, which is what I ended up getting in the end. A Numark Direct Drive, battle turntable. Which I later found out meant,"huge buttons everywhere, and a deck large enough to act as a flotation device." I also realized that my tonka turntable had the one thing this device didn't: an internal amp. Yes, you too can sit in the privacy of your own home listening to music at a level only a dog can hear, lightly floating over a deafening hum. I could have cried. Finally, two weeks later I had my very own wee pre-amp, and was back in the game. And here's what I learned about records and music since then:

Burning Witch rules. Period.
Why do I only own one Venom album?
As my collection of Unholy Grave records increases it only helps me realize that I don't have enough Unholy Grave records.
Underprivileged Nation was better than your sorry screamo band (and they were real punx too!)
We are the people who would like you to know that if you can't see your vision you have nowhere to go. But don't fret this is why we called and this is our chant' the ones who make a difference can dance, dance, dance....
I don't know which is better, the First Two Years album, or Teaching Revenge.
I still think Envy was better live last time than their new album, but who can beat a double colored vinyl limited release?
Late night impulse buys of limited release Pink Razors albums are always a good idea.
Lemuria doesn't play in DC nearly enough.
And Finally, To Live a Lie Records is the best record label in the world, and I will fist fight you if you disagree (oh wait, this excludes any Common Enemy releases. Yes, we finally got those ceiling tiles replaced)

Finally, I'm moving into a new place. I cannot tell you what a good idea this is. When you have a dream that you get into a fight with one of your roommates, and when you wake up you want to start hitting them to feel that joy again, you know it's time to move on. I'm only going to have one roommate now, and however crazy we both are it's at least parallel to the point where we should have few problems. After about two weeks of hard searching we finally found a great, large, two bedroom apartment, with hardwood floors. The only problem? It's in Iceland (read: "Petworth") I now have to live with the fact that it will take me two weeks to bike to anyplace that I need to be. (Note: it now takes me less than ten minutes to bike to Sparkys and the Black Cat from where I live). The two trade offs are the great price, and Christina promising to hook me up with hot ladies if I agreed to this. Considering the later I think that's fair enough. We move in in a week and a half, so it's all going down soon. Whatever happens, I know a change will do me good.

I suppose that's all I have for now, we'll see if I post again in the next six months........

2006-08-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

Where you at dog!?:

Anyone intersted in my social calander? No? Me either!
Here are some places where I will be this week:

Thurs. 8/10:

The Warehouse-

Fight Amputation
Stifling
Arcadius
Mika Miko
Problems

Fri. 8/11:

The Warehouse-

Din Glorius
Hallway Monitors
The Opposite Sex

Sat. 8/12

*SIGH* Probably the Black Cat-

Mousecrap

Sun. 8/13

? H street?

Okay really this is just a ploy to get people to come out to the Warehouse....so come already!

A "real" blog

2006-08-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

So, I've been feeling the need to write alot of useless crap lately, and as much as I adore my loving fanbase on Myspace I can't fight the urge to have another site designated solely to filling up with more useless crap.

I go a little like this: I'm in my late twenties, but I look like I'm twelve. Consequently, considering how the rest of the world has always treated me, my actions fall somewhere between the age of 12 and 28. Oh well, what can you do. Recently my life itself has been the central concern of all of my neurosees. More specifically, what am I doing with my life? The idea is to work in "the arts," which is why I moved to DC (indirectly from Mississippi, btw) in the first place. In the past three years I have gone from newbie, to slug, to frustrated wreck. Not only am I simply not living the life I want to, but for now I don't even know what that life is. I was many things but at present, I am primarily 1) an actor, and 2) a barista. Now the acting part is certainly one of my aspirations, and recently I have gotten that going again. However the service industry is not anything I aspire to. Though my acting skills do help keep me from tossing searing hot coffee into the faces of about 90% of the people I deal with on a daily basis.

I do imagine that if I was happy with the other aspects of my life, making ends meet hawking hot beverages would be just dandy. But it isn't. It seems to be that I want more. I want to be doing more than this. I would love to get up everyday, and help with creative projects. My problem isn't that normally I want to do specific jobs that I can't get, it's that I want to be involved with specific projects that might not have positions that I am qualified for. The idea is that I will do whatever needs to get done, so long as the overall is important. In the adult world, nine times out of ten, people won't hire someone just because they are reeeelly intetested in what you are doing.

The second problem is this: I am, to say the least, not a very organized person. But the good news is that I realize this and "now more than ever" am trying to do something about it. From calendars to self help books I'm trying, inspite of my best efforts, to get my shit together. I still have a long way to go, but I feel that slowly progress is being had. I also need to find some sort of behavioral therapy for phoneaphobia. (And maybe one for reading and responding to e-mails. But once again, I am trying to address the problem.)

I also book for a local indie music venue. Maybe not for much longer, but in the interum, I've been writing about it alot.

Okay, I don't think anyone needs to hear anymore than that so I'll drop a quick fun-fact check list, and then re-post some of my bolgs from that other place.

Fun-Facts:

1. Even in my late twenties I am still sXe (read "straight edge")
2. I am vegan The scary angry kind: xVx (read....well, you get it.)
3. I'm a damn dirty "punk" who listens to all sorts of grating music
4. I really like vinyl
5. I'm pretty into urban biking
6. That's about enough of that, here are some previous blogs:

Band Happenings

Just a few sad band anecdotes for the week, in sequential order I guess.

First, I am absolutely over "scene," and all the components thereof. About a week ago, we had a nice four-band bill at the Warehouse. It was a good mix of hard bands including two touring bands, who were just doing a weekend or so. The opening band was a two-man drum and bass duo (no, not like that, the instruments.). Attendance has been low lately, so everyone was hoping that people would roll up two support a couple of solid bands on the road. And to everyone's relief they did. There was a solid crowd of about 30-40 people who actually came on time. We only thought the night could get better from there. Now let's go back to that opener. It just so happens that one of the two guys in that band is very rapped up in the 14th-18th street scene. Being fairly humble and well rounded it's not as though he buys into it, but it is very much there. So his maiden set launches to an enthusiastic throng, and goes off well received with few hitches. At that point we were all patting ourselves on the back while the smoking exodus ensued. I helped the next band get set up, and we all waited for everyone to funnel back inside for the rest of the show. Only they didn't. Curiosity piqued, I wandered out myself. There was no one. Everyone had been there to see the first band, and didn't really feel like the rest of the groups were worth their time. Everyone else played for the other bands plus about five people. It was infuriating. Look I want people to support shows more than anyone, but if that is your attitude, don't come. We don't need that kind of shallow see and be scene at the Warehouse. That's not who we are, that's not what we do. At what point in your life does going out not have anything to do with a good time, but instead is replaced by making to all the right places at all the right times over the course of an evening? Clearly they don't even care about the guy they came to see since he spent the rest of the night really embarrassed, and feeling like an asshole. I suppose when I see certain faces at the Warehouse I should realize that the night is going to have nothing to do with a love of music, and everything to do with post-high-school-pseudo-popularity.

Also, it has been a bitch of a summer putting bills together, and getting a good crowd. Bar-none, Sunday was the worst show I've ever put on. I was contacted about a month or so after other bands had put in requests to do a show in Aug. I can't quite remember why, but something in the e-mail convinced me to go ahead and green light this one. I immediately thought about other bands who would work well on the bill, and sent them requests to play. The first set of e-mails rendered nothing. So I went back to the drawing board, and realized I didn't have many options. A lot of bands broke up this past year, and their new projects weren't off the ground yet. Between me the band's booker we wracked our brains out tying to put it together. There were countless let downs and false leads. Finally, at the last minute, I got a well-liked band who was already playing the Warehouse in the same week to hop on. Finally the person on the other end found a band who had actually asked her if they could play. We only had a week until the day of they show, but it was better than nothing. Sadly, it all goes downhill from here. The day of the show I received a phone call from the local band saying that one of them was sick, and they would not be able to play. Shit. I carried the bad news to the space, and started to set up for the show. The touring band finally got there, took the bad news well, and started to set up. Things were running a little behind, so we were all ready for a late start. The band went to eat while we waited for the other group, and the people to arrive. After a while it started to get late, very late...........to the point where the show should have started. The first band hadnt gotten back yet, but it didn't matter since the second band hadn't arrived yet, nor had anyone else had come. Finally the band got back, the second band was a no show, and one person had come to see the show. It was the guy putting the up for the night. They played for the staff +1, and we all tried to act enthusiastic for their out of state band practice. I bought a shirt, and a CD. I mean hey, they were actually a good band. Not that anyone in DC would know. None of the staff took their pay that night, and I went home feeling an absolutely hopeless loss.

This one is just a little thing that set me off, but I think it makes sense in the context of the other two. Last night I had a small three-band bill that I was prepared to be intimate. The first group had set up what they called their "little sound studio," and had asked me when they should go on. I told them I would let them know, and that I was absolutely all right with holding for a while in hopes that more people would come. Out of nowhere comes this voice, I can only be here for another twenty of thirty minutes." This guy was apparently a friend of theirs, and so I said what the heck let's go head and get started. I mean I'd rather let this guy see some of his friends set than wait for a few more people who might not be so into it. A minute later, slow waves of ambient sound came flowing from the stage. I was really getting into it when all of the sudden something jerked me out of my trance. It was a group of three people obnoxiously yammerring away at the bar. As if they weren't in a place where there were about ten people quietly watching two guys produce currents of subtle sound. Then I realized that one of the ringleaders of this party crashing movement was the very guy who complained that we needed to go ahead and start since he would have to leave soon. Yet there he was, back to the stage, straining to talk over the "background music" about condos, skiing, and parking tickets. Maybe it was my mood, maybe it was my tired irritability, but I just wanted to deck him and scream,"HEY ASSHOLE! SOME OF US ARE TYING TO ENJOY THE SHOW!!" Finally he left, as he had promised, and the rest of us were able to get back into the music. I just don't begin to understand people like that.

Finally I should note that there might be big changes at the Warehouse soon. I can't say what, but I may not be part of it if this goes through. Even though it is my boss' decision, it all boils down to lack of support. Yes, there are many things wrong with how the Warehouse operates, but at the end of the day, the bands still came, and they still wanted people to see them. Although benefits could help, at this point I imagine the financial needs to be more in the thousands, if not tens of thousands range. So if anyone knows to how t acquire large sums of money for arts/music community spaces feel free to let me know. Part of me feels like maybe it could be time to move on, but a lot of me doesn't want to walk away from this.

Couple 'o' things
Current mood: Listening to The Rentals

Okay, first let me say that I've felt really great for the last couple of days. However, I have to remind myself that this is what always happend. I can't just sit back and say,"Boy am I glad to have finally gotten past that depression stuff." Because I know that in maybe a month or so I'll be right back to,"Boo-hoo, I totally hate myself; I'm totally a worthless human being. Yadda yadda yadda.." I will, for the time being, enjoy this upswing.

I've been working alot this week. In fact, thanks to a scheduling malfunction, I worked a thirteen and a half hour shift on Mon. Add to this the fact that three months ago I thought it would be a great idea to book about four shows every week in Aug. Whew!

So back to the cafe. Thursday was a blitzkreig of customers. We were slammed over and over again. This was, by the by, a shift I agreed to pick up to cover what would have been another scheduling malfunction. What a favor it was. Okay here is the point of this story (No-it's not "I hate work."). At one point a couple of people came in and all ordered a tuna melt and a double machiato. Then another person ordered a tuna melt and a double machiato. Then another, and finally a little over ten people ordered this same meal. They also kept comming back and adding on bottles of water ("okay one bottle of water. What? Okay five bottles of water."), and Odwalla, etc. So I finally had to ask,"Who are you guys?" To which I was told,"Oh, we're on tour," which was of course the answer to my question. In turn I pressed the envelope just a bit further. "Oh? And what band are you in?" And finally I got,"Oh, we're A Silver Mt. Zion." I told her I thought that was cool, and then prayed that all fifty (or so it felt) were done ordering five bottles of water, and five more etc's. That's it, that's the punch line.

Next, speaking of bands in the city, we had a couple last night that went through a very strange situation. They took off to go get food down 7th in Honkietown (read Chinatown), and then decided to go back past the Warehouse in the opposite direction. They got about three blocks up when they were stopped by some police. They were met with the greeting,"Do you think you guys should be in this place?" (The place that's the direction of where I live?) "I mean what are you boys up to this evening." I'm not sure what the response was but I'm sure it was something along the lines of a polite "What the fuck?" Then one officer tossed out,"You know what a peckerhead is?" To which one of the band replied,"No, I guess not." "Yeah, you do. You know what a pecker head is." was shot back at him. Another of the guys said,"Well I think I know what a peckerhead is." The cop said,"Yeah, you know. White power stuff." This is where the needle screeched across the record for the band. "What?", said one of the beareded, short haired party,"We aren't white suppremesists!" The officers simply would not believe that they weren't some sort of Mr. Clean lookin', cherry red boot sportin', Fred Perry buyin', Skrewdriver fan club motherfuckers. Finally protect and serve gave the offering that they could go that way, but at the very least they would have bottles thrown at them. It's good to know that with all the race riots going on in DC right now, that the scholarly researched, fast acting, on point, intellectual protect and serve whose sallary my tax dollars pay so that I can make $15,000 a year working my ass off, really dig deep to understand the subcultures that might cause civil strife. Honestly though, more than angered I am deeply moved by laughter at this little tale.

Dan Deacon is a genius. I cannot express this fact enough. The fact that this guy is not playing sold out shows to thousands (which I would admitingly hate) dumbfounds me. I always forget that when he plays the Warehouse things always go wrong (every show, just the Warehouse, not kiddin'.) So his cd player is broken, and finally we agree that he will use the rack mounted house player. He starts another one of his fifteen minute explanation, thirty second countdowns that everyone has to join in on. This one included being bored and watching tv for a few seconds, then finding your hand gushing blood and being really into it for a few seconds, then being dissiiusioned like when your a kid and your parents tell you that they are renovating a room for a new sibling and then really it's just that they are renting out the room to some guy that is mean to you when they aren't around, and finally, as usual, ending with sassy, sassy, sassy. So we all get into the countdown, acting out the bits as we say sream the numbers, and finally, when we explode with one and the music starts, the cd player skips. Dan stops and we all scream. So we try putting the lost and found clothes under it as shock absorbers. No dice. We put it on a seperate platform. Nothing. Finally Dan has someone hold the cd player for the duration of the show (only dan could get someone to do that.) Next he discovered that the digital screen on the player was broken. Consequently he could see what track it was playing, and therefore what song he was going to do. He began calling it Mr. DJ, and was forced to have a totally random setlist. Next something went wrong with the amps, and finally Dan's vocal fx petal started shorting out. During one of these emergencies he got every one to do "Biggle Hat was Ice-Cream Time(Card Shark Nose Nose)" with him, and it was an amazing moment of crowd participation. Then he went on to jam out more spastic dance songs, so everyone could lose their shit. (I know! And in DC too!) Finally he reached the end fully utilizing his lightbuld/strobing green skull light toggle. We collapsed in a heap of sweaty, wheezing funk. (Oh, and there was nudity...anyway....) Dan has a new cd out that every person in america needs to own. Dan Deacon is a genius.

Finally let me conclude with this: Sometimes we all do favors for people. Favors like letting a nice guy you know do a metal show. You are more than happy, and you do like metal. Then you find out that on that same night, in that same town, The Rentals are playing a reunion show. Since I am so confused, frustrated, and forlorn with my "love life" right now, I could use a little "Please let that be you!"

Okay, that' it. I have not reviewed this for errors, nor have I learned to spell. (Maybe someone can give me lessons.