And then some days........

Well, though I have a few more post to edit and homogenize, I have nearly moved all of my musical content over to Aural Suppository. Why all of it you ask? Well, the reason that I started doing the minterviews was because artists I talked about in this blog started finding and reading through google, and while that's great, I want to create a proper platform for that outside of this more personal blog.

And on that note.......Today was the odd kind of day where you can go from Suicide, to New Order,(and I mean Get Ready, yeah, the "car commercial" album....). Maybe therapy is making my mood and emotions yo-yo, but I think it's moving in an "I-think-I-can" positive direction.

So, this morning I woke up in a distant, depressive mood, and plodded through my day with a typical melancholy. I got home, once again, totally exhausted; I have still not recovered from NCOR. I had no time to rest however, since Dan and were meeting to continue the writing process for our next theatre project, and since we did not find any concrete solutions in the last meeting, I wasn't really looking forward to it. However, once I got to his place I felt this strange energy start to rise up in me. And soon enough, I was frantically pacing around, gesturing wildly with a coffee cupped hand.

We still kept hitting a very, horribly, frustrating wall however. We kept talking about meaning, after meaning, after meaning, and in the end two things happened: we meaned ourselves to death, and I don't think either one of us had any clue what we were talking about anymore. At some point I just broke down and said "stop!" We both had researched this project, we both had written mock mini pieces to work from, and we both knew what the hell we were doing. I suggested we acknowledge this, and then forget everything. Throw it right out the fucking window. We just needed to trust our ideas, and write them without analyzing them. And what do you know, we wrote an entire skeleton to work with the group from, in about one simple hour. Good fight; good night.

Which brings me to what could potentially be a slight retraction. I may not totally quit theatre next year. It turns out that Dan is not going to grad school next year, however he is still planning to create his own projects. And while I see our theatre company experiment alot like history views the great communist experiment, I would be willing to keep working on projects with only Dan. This would mean two things for me, one is that I would be less involved with the productions themselves, and two is that most of my creativity would be spent writing. As opposed to holding up a taped together knife, while reciting lines from Hamlet, with my own drool and snot running down my face, wishing I could use said prop to slit my own throat.

Which brings me to my final argument (I don't know either..), how can I do things like this and make a living? Neither Dan nor I want to compromise our work with the commodification required by the mainstream theatre community. Work theoretically equals income, and Dan and I would be working ourselves into the ground. However I'm not sure where the income would flow from. The job I have now is a fantastic model. An LLC, collective, where everyone is an equal partner, who has equal access to all commerce, and also equal responsibility to all duties. We have an accountant, a shared bank account, benefits, paid vacation, an amazing website, business cards, palm cards, and weekly meetings to keep on top of everything. The problem is that we are providing a service; the service of dog walking. Theatre is not a service, and therefore the income source would not be the same. I know for a fact that the model works, I just need to find out where the money comes from. Sure, it would be easy to charge money for the shows, and then use that to fund more shows. However, while I need to be able to do that, I also need to be able to provide a living wage. I'm an anticapitalist, and this is way out of my territory. I've thought about grants, but where can you find someone crazy (I mean, crazy amazing...) enough to fund your projects, plus give each member about $30,000 a year to cover living expenses?

Fortunately I have my current job, and it's quite stable, but I need to start figuring this problem out (you know.....before I turn forty)

Well dear reader friends.....Ideas?............